Better Choices

My dentist was all set to start drilling when he paused inches away from my mouth.

“I promised you a little more numbness, didn’t I?”

I nodded my head vigorously, yes, you promised me more Novocain, so please don’t go back on your word.

He picked up a massive syringe, zapped my gums and went to work moments later, while The Jarmels came over the sound system to say that a little bit of soap will never wash my tears.

I will be 66 years old in a few days and all the soap in the world will never wash away those years. I need all the numbness I can get.

My dentist and I are in the same age bracket, which explains his SiriusXM channel selection, so as he chipped away at my battered tooth, I got to hear Richard Harris singing about McArthur’s Park melting in the dark, and the Four Seasons telling me to walk like man.

Luckily my dentist is a craftsman, and I didn’t feel any pain at all—no Marathon Man cracks, please—but I was uncomfortable as hell as he drilled and drilled.

Things got bad, however, when “Smile A Little Smile for Me,” leaked out into the operating room. Jesus, I hate that tune, but it does sound like it could be a dentist’s theme song.

Last week I worked on a story about Amazon posting ads for artificial intelligence techies—you know, the dudes who want to hand over civilization to robots?

I was all set to lead the story with a reference to the song “Want Ads” by The Honey Cone when it occurred to me that many—if not most—of the people reading the story probably wouldn’t know that 1971 song.

A Spotless Future

I came up with a different lede and filed my story, only to find out at a company meeting that my editor, who is much younger than I am, knew the song. Should’ve gone with my instincts…

I’m trying to ease into this birthday, toning down the regrets and boosting the gratitude.

Last week I came across a familiar meme on Facebook that says “Your life is a result of the choices you make. If you don’t like your life, it is time to make better choices.”

I remember how I would get annoyed every time I came across that quote, as if were some kind of personal insult.

But then I finally realized that I was taking those words personally because they reminded me of the bad choices I had made over the years, how I stayed in bad situations long after I should’ve bailed.

Now I can appreciate that quote without tearing myself apart. But some people have different view.

While most of the people in the comments section were supportive, one woman said had lost both her husband and her son and reminded us that she did not choose these terrible events. They happened to her.

Her remarks were upsetting but they reminded me how lucky I am to be here, to have a wonderful family, a steady paycheck and a roof over my head. That’s plenty to celebrate right there.

While I was cleaning up my kitchen on Saturday I came across an old fortune from a long-since devoured cookie.

“No matter what your past has been, you have a spotless future,” it said.

That’s a nice theme for my birthday. Someone should set it to music.