The Luna Park Gazette

“Everybody thinks you reach a certain age and you're a grownup, but it's not true. Nobody grows up until the day they croak.”—Keith Richard The timing was spooky. I’m planning to retire in about nine months, which is both scary and wonderful. Yeah, I’m very much looking forward to finally stopping work, but I still can’tbelieve I’ve actually reached retirement age. I finally stopped by my local senior center at the urging of my landlady last week, who told me the place has a gym. I wanted to check out the equipment in hopes of using it as a backup on rainy, cold, or busy days when I can’t make the 15‑block walk to my health club. Plus, I figured I’d check out their classes — Tai Chi, stretching — and maybeeven the cafeteria. Okay, first, I want to say it’s a great place that does wonderful work. I met some very nice, helpful people, including one who gave me a tour and explained everything the center has to offer. The problem is me. I’m still having trou...

So, are you glad you did this?” The question came from Jerry, the director of my one act play Mercy Road, as we sat in the lobby of the Chain Theatre on Wednesday night. It had been one hell of a ride—fear, panic, joy, and ultimately, a ton of gratitude. Jerry was the backbone of this project, taking time out of his schedule to find the actors and bring this show to life. And it’s all rather amazing, considering this production came very close to not happening. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I never thought I’d get this far. I sent my play to the Chain in May and promptly forgot all about it. So of course I had a massive conniption fit when the theater accepted the damn thing. I was inches away from turning them down, convinced I’d never be able to find actors, get a director, and have everyone ready to take the stage by July 12—the first of three engagements. But Jerry talked me out of it, strongly advising me not to pass up such a wonderful opportuni...

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.” Robert Louis Stevenson “Relax,” Jerry said softly. “Take deep breaths.” He was right, of course. Inhaling a healthy hunk of air slowly and deeply into the lungs is a great way to stave off anxiety. We were sitting in the third-floor lobby of The Chain Theatre on Sunday evening, where the second performance of my one-act play "Mercy Road" was about to begin. Jerry is the play’s director and the guiding force of this production who kept everything on track while keeping me out of the loony bin. Opening night had been an absolute blast, but that was two weeks ago—plenty of time for all the anxiety and terror I went through the first time to make a return engagement. My wonderful sister was coming again and bringing three of her friends, and my writing coach Rosemary was also attending with two of my buddies from our class. I di...

“ The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed .” — Casey Stengel, New York Mets manager, 1962 to 1965. On June 21, 1968, Earl Warren submitted his resignation to President Lyndon Johnson after 15 years as Chief Justice of the United States. On this first day of summer, Secretary of the Army Stanley Resor announced that the Army had sharply reduced its support of civilian marksmanship programs and would no longer sell pistols, only excess rifles. The move came in response to demands for tighter gun controls following the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy, who had been murdered in Los Angeles earlier that month. Mort Sahl was playing at the Village Gate. The Party , starring Peter Sellers, was showing at the Alpine Theater, just a few blocks from my family’s home. And way up in Flushing Meadows, the New York Mets clobbered the L.A. Dodgers. “If some benevolent dream merchant decided to compose a script for the satisfaction of New York Mets fans among ...

I’ll get right to the point—thank you, St. Genesius! We had our first performance of my one-act play Mercy Road at the Chain Theatre on Sunday and it was a blast. I was absolutely out of my mind leading up to the show, conjuring all kinds of hellacious scenarios, none of which—surprise!—actually happened. My new best friend, St. Genesius of Rome, came through with interest. The two cast members acted up a storm, and the audience appreciated every second of it. Of course, I was short-tempered and completely irrational leading up to showtime. I freaked at every single disruption no matter how small. The big blowout occurred when I entered the building and mistakenly thought both of the elevators were out of commission and we’d all have to walk up three flights of stairs to the theater. “My aunt can’t climb all those stairs!” I wailed, as a young woman pressed the button for the front elevator…which was working. “I’m sorry about the outburst,” I muttered as t...

Okay, St. Genesius, it’s up to you now. For the last week, I’ve been furiously praying to the one-time thespian who became a Christian martyr and the patron saint of actors, clowns, comedians, dancers, and musicians—along with lawyers, barristers, people with epilepsy, printers, stenographers, and victims of torture. That’s quite a roster, come to think of it, but right now I just need St. Genesius of Rome to please, please, pretty please with two tons of sugar on top, look down upon and bless my one-act play Mercy Road , which kicks off tomorrow for a three-show run at The Chain Theatre in Manhattan. As we got closer to the premiere, I became so twisted that I pounced onto Google, hammered out “patron saint of theater” in search of divine intervention, and learned about the Roman comedian who used to perform in plays that mocked Christianity. According to legend, Genesius had a rapid change of heart while performing before Emperor Diocletian. He had planned to thu...