Freak for All

In 1979, I flew out to San Francisco to stay with my oldest brother who was living in Berkeley at the time.

One of our father’s brothers, Bob, lived nearby and we visited him a few times during my stay in California.

On the night before I was scheduled to fly back to New York, we stopped by Bob’s apartment so I could I say goodbye.

“Boy,” he said as we sat down in his living room, “I didn’t do fuck-all today.”

I don’t think I’d ever heard that expression before—hey, I was young—but I knew what my uncle was talking about.

After Saturday, however, I now have a much deeper appreciation of those words.

Saturday was a bit of a dud, to put it mildly. It wasn’t so much a bad day; it was a completely pointless one.

My sister and I had made tentative plans to do something, but she was tired (as was I) and the weather looked crappy, so we agreed to just stay in our respective homes and chill.

I have a to-do list the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and since initial reports said it would rain, I thought it would a great time to stay in and knock out some chores.

Well, I didn’t anything like that. I didn’t do any cleaning, I didn’t send out any emails, I didn’t make any attempt to socialize, and I devoted a whopping 30 minutes to writing.

In short, I didn’t do fuck-all.

The weather didn’t help. First it looked like it was going to rain, then the sun peeked out from behind the clouds.

Day In, Day Out

I didn’t want to spend a nice day inside so I went to my local park and made a half-assed attempt at reading the Times, before spending the rest of the afternoon screwing around with my I-Phone and donating blood to the neighborhood mosquitos.

It was a perfectly worthless day.

At one point I started deleting tons of old photos from my phone, which is important, I suppose, but it shouldn’t be the highlight of your weekend.

The day was a total bust, an exercise in self-sabotage as I studiously avoided anything that might have helped me advance personally or professionally.

I wouldn’t have minded half-as much if I had made a conscious decision to do nothing all day long.

In fact, I have been threatening for the longest time to devout one day where I don’t get out of bed unless it’s absolutely necessary.

But I didn’t make that choice. I just gave up and let the rambling current carry me away to Palookaville. And I felt more and more depressed as the day wore on.

It’s a type of behavior a shrink once described as “win by losing.” You do nothing to help yourself and then you wonder why your life isn’t improving.

No choice is a choice.

The highlight of my day was getting takeout from a new Indian restaurant on Third Avenue. Can you stand the excitement?

I got up this morning vowing today would be different. I hit the gym, took in some rays at the park, had a Zoom meeting with my writing coach and then cleaned up my apartment.

I also made tentative plans for next Saturday to go out with one of my Meet-Up groups.

How am I doing, Uncle Bob?

Comments

Bijoux said…
I love that you remember what your uncle said so long ago. I think we can all relate!
Ron said…
"....and donating blood to the neighborhood mosquitos."

OMG Rob, that CRACKED ME UP! Brilliantly hilarious!!

I've actually had similar days like the one you've described, in which I let the rambling current carry me away. And believe it or not, sometimes they ended up turning into days of discovering cool things I didn't plan for by just "taking the day as it came."

Happy to hear you had an enjoyable and productive Sunday. The weather was the same here this past weekend. It seemed like it was going to rain, but then the sun would suddenly come out. However, I think later this week we'll be getting several days of thunderstorms.

Have an awesome week, buddy!
Rob K said…

Hey, Ron!

Yes, those rambling days can turn out surprisingly well sometimes.

Saturday was not a good example for me, but I think some part of me just wanted to do nothing all day. And I succeeded!

Take care, buddy!
Rob K said…
@Hey, Bijoux:

That was one of those dormant memories that came to life just at the right time.

Amazing, ain't it?

Stay well!
Rajani Rehana said…
Fabulous post
Hey Rob you are not alone because the other day I said the same thing about how I had (not) spent the day. Of course, it wasn't it exactly in the same working as your uncle.

I think we all have days, some even have weeks, in which they wonder what they did all that time. Then, we get a sudden burst and do so many things, so maybe we need that "fuck-all" day every now and then.
Rob K said…

Hey, Dorothy! Glad I'm in such good company!

I'm hoping for that boomerang effect when all this wasted time pays off in a flood of creativity!

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