Friday, August 26, 2005

Missed Connection 2: The Return of Angelica

Oh, goodness do I feel happy.

Why? Well, a beautiful, sexy, lovely woman told me she doesn't want to go out with me.

It makes no sense, of course, but I'll tell you all I know. When we last left yours truly I was all bent out of shape because I kept letting women get away from me, even though I had struck up some very nice conversations with them.

One of them, my favorite, actually, was Angelica--she of the black bikini and pierced navel. I finally got up the nerve to talk to her whilst she was sunbathing down by Shore Road after lusting for her in the shadows for weeks.

But once again, I had let her walk away from here, promising I'd see her around. And I had planned to--I'd adjusted my Saturday schedule to make sure I'd be on Shore Road when she--hopefully--would be there.

However, just this very morning I'm doing my errands and I see this woman in shorts and a camouflage t-shirt coming toward me on Fifth Avenue. I'm thinking I recognize her, she seems to know me, and then we go by.

Then I realized it was Angelica. I almost let her go a second time, but I said no! you schmuck, don't do this again. So I walked after her. For a second I wondered what if this were the wrong woman, but then I figured I'd apologize and maybe ask this woman out.

So I caught up her, and it was indeed Angelica, and she remembered my name (!) and I let her talk about her dog (a doberman!) and then I tried to seal the deal: how about you give me your phone number and we'll get together?

Angelica made a face, something between a smile and a grimace (a smimace? a grile?), and said she didn't want any serious complications in her life. I assured her that I'm not serious about anything and encouraged her to talk to anyone who knows me.

Naturally it was not to be. So I wished her well, told her I'd see her around, and then went my way. I felt so good, actually seeing it to the end, asking for the phone number. So she shot me down. I wasn't struck by lightning, she didn't open up on me with a machine gun, and I don't have to lurk around the park tomorrow like a stalker intern.

Nice going, son. You held up your end. Now all you have to do is find a woman who wants to go out with you.

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