Breathing Exercises

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.” Robert Louis Stevenson

“Relax,” Jerry said softly. “Take deep breaths.”

He was right, of course. Inhaling a healthy hunk of air slowly and deeply into the lungs is a great way to stave off anxiety.

We were sitting in the third-floor lobby of The Chain Theatre on Sunday evening, where the second performance of my one-act play "Mercy Road" was about to begin.

Jerry is the play’s director and the guiding force of this production who kept everything on track while keeping me out of the loony bin.

Opening night had been an absolute blast, but that was two weeks ago—plenty of time for all the anxiety and terror I went through the first time to make a return engagement.

My wonderful sister was coming again and bringing three of her friends, and my writing coach Rosemary was also attending with two of my buddies from our class.

I did as Jerry instructed, going for box breathing: inhale through the nose for a count of four, hold it for four, breathe out slowly for four, and then hold the lungs empty for—yes—a count of four.

It worked for a little while, but then my imagination started cooking up all kinds of horrendous outcomes, short of nuclear war or an alien invasion.

Singin' Them Sweet Sounds

We’d done a rehearsal on Friday at 353 Studios on 48th Street, which had gone fairly well, but I was still worried, of course.

I got so bent out of shape that I briefly—but very seriously—considered waiting in the lobby for the duration. But even I had to admit that sounded crazy.

I’d been praying to St. Genesius of Rome—the patron saint of theater—to make a curtain call for this second outing, as well as all the other theater-related holy people such as St. Vitus, St. Cecilia, and St. Joseph.

Earlier in the week, I had bought myself a St. Genesius prayer card and silently recited the prayer, asking him to intercede for “your fellow actors before God that they may faithfully and honestly perform their roles and so help others to understand their role in life and thus enabling them to attain their end in Heaven.”

Amen, brother.

I had my eyes closed for the first several minutes of the play, but I slowly relaxed as the actors played their parts so well. Of course, my dark side kept warning me not to get too cocky—the show ain’t over yet.

And then it was. The two actors were fabulous, all my peeps came forth to congratulate me, and I felt so incredibly happy and grateful.

The show livestreamed, and we sat down for a brief Q&A afterward, and then it was back to Brooklyn for a late-night dinner.

This experience has taught me so much, but last night showed me just how lucky I am to have all these wonderful, loving, supportive people in my life.

If nothing else comes of this, I’ll always have the memory of how these incredible folks stepped up for me.

Our final show is Wednesday, and then I can relax, breathe normally, and give St. Genesius a much-deserved vacation.