Drop Zone

"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own."

Did you ever wonder why paratroopers shout “Geronimo!” before they jump out an airplane?

The question occurred to me while I was working on a story about golden parachutes, those hefty payouts that executives get on their way out the door.

That name, by the way, comes from a 1961 attempt by creditors to oust Howard Hughes from control of Trans World Airlines.

They provided Charles Tillinghast Jr. an employment contract that included a clause that would pay him money if he lost his job

As far as invoking the name of Geronimo, that got started by U.S. paratroopers in 1940 who saw a movie about the Apache military and spiritual leader and yelled his name when they made that big step into the sky.

I was thinking of working the Geronimo angle into my golden parachute story, but I didn't pursue it.

However, while doing my research I came across a familiar name. We'll call him Felix to protect the innocent. He was a media spokesperson for a very large company back in the 1990s when I was working for a different publication.

He was a nice guy, as I recall. We had a lunch a few times and then I parted company with that outfit and I never heard from Felix again.

Later I learned that he had become the CEO of this massive media company, which seemed like quite a leap. But then I suppose as the guy who does all the talking to the reporters, Felix would know everything that goes on at the place.

And that was the last time I ever thought of him…until Wednesday when I was working on my golden parachute story. I found some articles from early in the year that said Felix’s huge company was merging with another giant firm.

Pull the Ripcord

Analysts were expecting a wave of layoffs, but Felix was getting an exit package that included cash, equity, pension, deferred compensation, and other perks. All told, this golden parachute was worth $49 million.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. As business reporter, I’m used to writing about these monstrous payouts…but it was never about someone I knew.

True, I haven’t spoken to him in 25+ years and I’m sure he has no memory of me. Still…49 million bucks.

I confess I’m feeling a low-grade form of envy. I’m not proud of this by any means and when put under the searing light of logic, it’s completely ridiculous.

I don’t have any background in Felix’s business. And even if I did, I seriously doubt that I’d make it to the C-suite.

And let’s face, his company isn’t handing out a nearly $50 million pay package just to be nice. They want something for that kind of money—like working nights and weekends and spending long stretches of time away from your family.

Yeah, the only thing I regret is that nobody is offering me this kind of deal. It’s foolish, time-consuming and it reflects badly upon me.

But it’s important to be honest with myself. I want to confront my darker emotions and get them out into the light instead of bottling up these toxic feelings and pretending everything's okay.

I’ve been reading several quotes about the Green-Eyed Monster, which is so named because the color green has been associated with jealousy since ancient time.

One of them states very simply that “comparison is the thief of joy.” And, Lord I know how that one works.

We’ve got Thanksgiving coming up in a few days and it’s a good opportunity to remind myself just how lucky I am to have a roof over my head, food on my table and a family that loves me.

And that’s worth more than any golden parachute.

Happy Thanksgiving.