See You in September

“I notice that Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

I was rolling by the produce aisle in my local supermarket yesterday when I got a sudden craving for some citrullus lanatus.

As we all know, this is the formal handle for watermelon, that famed flowering plant species of the Cucurbitaceae family.

Watermelon was synonymous with summer when I was a kid, and I’d have a healthy helping of the stuff nearly every single day.

There were some nice pieces in the refrigerated section, and I thought about treating myself to some of this large edible fruit.

But then I stopped.

This was the last of August, meaning we were hours away from September, which means summer is over and I shouldn’t indulge in warm weather eats.

I’ll have to take out the air conditioners, pack away my beach chair, break out the cold weather gear and prepare for months short days and freezing temperatures.

I’ll relentlessly complain that summer goes too fast and that I didn’t do enough of my favorite warm weather activities

And somewhere in the middle of a snowstorm I will swear a blood oath that this is it, this is the last goddamn summer I will ever spend in New York, this time I’m really doing it, I’m hauling my aging carcass to LA or San Diego or Honolulu or someplace where I can wear shorts all year ‘round.

Of course, this is all lunacy, an annual ritual I put myself through just as the leaves get ready to fall. When summer winds down, my whining cranks up.

Complaining about cold weather has been something of a second career for me. It starts in mid-August when I notice that changes in the sunlight that comes streaming into my kitchen each morning and start muttering obscenities into my oatmeal.

The Leaves Turn Brown...

From there it’s just a matter of time before I’m in my parka and snow boots cursing the weather gods.

I sometimes wonder what I would do if I ever did move to a warmer climate and was forced up to give up all my meteorlogical misery.

Jesus, what I would do then? Be happy?

Businesses aren’t helping any. Starbucks started selling its Pumpkin Spice Latte on Aug. 22, the earliest date ever.

And Krispy Kreme is even worse, rolling out their pumpkin spice cake doughnut and pumpkin spice latte on Aug 12.

For the record I hate fall, I hate pumpkin spice anything and I really hate the cold weather.

Jimmy Kimmel does a bit every month where he’ll play a clip of local news anchors around the country saying something along the lines of “hey, can you believe it’s (insert month) already?”

It’s good for a laugh because I know that I do the same thing. Especially around the holidays.

The change in the season is a reminder that time is passing much too quickly. I’m getting older and so many of my New Year’s resolutions remain unfilled that I can pretty much carry them over to January 2025.

I’ve been working on my attitude lately, looking around for things that I can be thankful for and when I think of my family, my home and my job, I realize how lucky I am.

In addition, I’ve been listening and reading to various self-help/motivational types to drive the November out of my soul.

One of these people, Mel Robbins, sent out an email to her followers on Saturday.

“Can you believe today is the last day of August?” she begins. Oy, we just went through this.

But there was more…

“Tomorrow, we step into a new month,” she wrote. “Let's make a promise to each other and ourselves that this September we're going back to our routine and start prioritizing what we need. We got this!”

I like her approach better than mine. But I still hate pumpkin spice.