Shed Games

You never get over being a police reporter.

I covered the cop beat in the Poconos for five years and even though I turned in my scanner 30 years ago, I still get a charge whenever I hear sirens or see flashing red lights.

I felt that buzz last week when I was walking from the gym and I spotted an ambulance on the other side of Third Avenue at 83rd Street.

Immediately the old instincts kicked in. Was there an accident, or an assault, or did somebody keel over?

I didn’t see any other activity, but there was a young woman and a cameraman dead head on the corner.

At first, I thought they were shooting a film and I decided to ask them about their project.

But as I got closer, I noticed the woman was holding a microphone from Channel 12, so I reckoned they were covering whatever the hell was going on across the street.

“Hey, there,” I said, “do you know what’s going on?”

“No,” the woman said. “Actually, we’re here for something else. I wonder if I could ask you some questions.”

Okay, that was a switch.

I’m used to asking the questions, not answering them. And I give this young woman credit for taking advantage of the situation.

Apparently, she was assigned to do a person on the street interview—one of my least favorite gigs as a reporter—and, seeing as how this particular street was decidedly unpopulated at this time of the day, she wanted to get my two cents while the getting was good.

Hey, I get it. When you see a live one, you pounce.

I wasn’t comfortable being interviewed, and I don’t like being on camera—especially since I had just come out of the gym and was dire in need of a shave.

But I agreed, so what do you want to know?

Who Asked You?

“What do you think about these sheds that the restaurants have?”

Of course, she was talking about all the outdoor dining sheds that many restaurants had set up during the Covid outbreak.

The question was timely.

A New York State Supreme Court judge had ruled on August 1 that “there is no longer an emergency that could justify the suspension of local laws to justify outdoor dining.”

Meanwhile, the city council had voted to make the sheds permanent—except between November and March when they would have to come down.

I understand that these saved a lot of jobs and businesses, but I told this woman that it was time to get rid of them.

They talk up a lot of space, they have been known to attract vermin, and most importantly, they are a grim reminder of a very dark time in our history, when we were essentially trapped in our homes and living our lives through Zoom.

Now I must admit that many restaurants have done a fabulous job of making these structures attractive, with lights, sound systems and all kinds of decorations aimed at taking our minds off their origin story.

And while Covid is certainly still with us, I would like to think that the worst is behind us, and we can ease up on the restrictions. If the war is, we should put away the artillery.

“If the merchants still need them, then, by all means, we should keep them,” I said. “But if we can take them down, then we should do it.”

And with that we wrapped up. I wished them both a good day and headed home.

I don’t know if my interview was ever used, but I was happy for a chance to share my thoughts.

And I never did find out what that ambulance was doing there. Good thing I’m not a police reporter anymore.