Rutting Season

Don't go through life, grow through life—Eric Butterworth

So, when does a routine become a rut?

When do you cross the line that separates a reliable pattern from a toxic drill?

Our lives are made up of routines.

Most of us have to go to work, unless we’re rich or retired, and move through routines or patterns within our particular occupations.

They can vary a great depending upon your line of work, but there has to be some basic duties or functions that you have perfected by constant repetition.

Routine also applies to recreation, as we apply ourselves to such pursuits as tennis or running or weightlifting, which all offer rewards for repetition as our skills improve the more we practice.

The problems start when that routine becomes dull and your interest wanes.

The rut-vs-routine question came to mind yesterday when I returned home from the gym—another routine--and sat down to watch two episodes of “Have Gun Will Travel” I had recorded.

Only I hadn’t recorded them. I checked the play list and saw that I had forgotten to set the DVR to record what I constantly tell people is one of my favorite TV shows.

I rarely make a mistake like that and, when I do, I often get quite angry with myself and humanity in general.

However, I didn’t lose my temper when I discovered my mistake this time. It’s only a TV show, I thought, it’s hardly the end of the word.

And I suspect that this alleged “mistake” was actually a bit of subconscious subterfuge I played on myself to get me to cut down on my television viewing and break up the routine.

Every Saturday I come home from the gym, get a bowl of yogurt and blueberries and walnuts, put my feet on the coffee table, and watch our hero Paladin shoot people richly deserve it.

Tote That Barge, Lift That Bail

I can see almost see myself on that couch, remote in hand, in a kind of outer body of experience.

I know that I will have to get used to watching less TV as I get closer to cutting the cord with the Rectum Cable Company.

(Actually, the company is called Spectrum, but their fees are hitting me in a very sensitive part of my anatomy.)

Only I still haven’t done it yet. I’ve been talking about kicking Rectum out of my life for years now, and I’ve been blogging about it for at least two weeks, but I still haven’t taken that first step.

I’m going to be mighty angry when that first hefty bill comes in and, if I quit, I will feel better when I have more time on my hands and more cash in my pocket.

And still I do nothing.

A large part of this is goes back to a fear of change. I hate the current situation, but I’m reluctant to do something different, even though it has some pretty obvious benefits.

The routine may suck big time, but at least it doesn’t suck in mysterious ways.

I think some of my anger management and depression issues come from this devotion to the mundane.

I refuse to make important changes in my life and then I get pissed off and depressed by the lack of change.

What’s that line about the definition of insanity? Oh, yeah. Doing the same thing over and over and hoping for a different result.

And that’s when a routine becomes a rut--when the misery of a routine overpowers the rewards.

I’m going to miss Paladin. And Peter Gunn, Marshall Dillion, Lucas McCain, Josh Randall and all those other classic TV heroes that I’ve been watching for far too long. But I have to listen to my subconscious and climb out of this rut.

Rectum most go.