“Whatever you're meant to do, do it now. The conditions are always impossible."--Doris Lessing.
Wow, does this guy know me or what?
I just read my horoscope as interpreted by Rob Brezsny on this, my 59th birthday, and his words went right to my soul.
He starts off with the above Doris Lessing quote and then tells me to take her advice to heart.
“It's senseless to tell yourself that you will finally get serious as soon as all the circumstances are perfect,” Mr. Brezny writes. “Perfection does not and will never exist. The future is now. You're as ready as you will ever be.”
Do it now? But I’m The Procrastinater, who puts everything off to some distant future time that will never get here. And now I can use my age as yet another excuse not to do anything about…anything.
Or perhaps not. Maybe I can take this celestial suggestion and make some changes. Why the hell not?
My company is very kindly giving employees their birthdays off in honor of the firm’s 100th anniversary so I treated myself to a long overdue doctor’s visit—where I learned I have to lose weight—and then a fabulous massage.
After that I went to the old Lincoln Savings Bank on Fifth Avenue where my mother used to sell life insurance and stood in the spot where my mother’s desk used to be.
I usually walk by this location quickly and surreptitiously bless myself as if I’m committing a crime.
But today I took my time. I stood on this holy patch of ground for several minutes and I thought about the woman who gave birth to me nearly 60 years ago this very day.
I got a few odd looks from the customers, but I didn’t care. I had every right to be here.
It’s been almost 14 years since my mother died and I still miss her so very much. I can’t have her back, but I can honor her memory by being happy and giving The Procrastinater the heave-ho.
The future is now.