The Caged Heart

The voice came from behind while two loving hands held me up.

“You have a lot of sweet energy,” it said. “I could feel it while I worked on you.”

The person speaking was Kathryn Davis, a healer, teacher, mystic, and all-around miracle worker as far as I’m concerned.

I went to see her on Sunday for a private energy session and that turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve made in years.

“You have a good heart,” she told me. “It loves you.”

I have a notoriously low opinion of myself, so hearing that some part of my being actually loves me was so hard to believe that I started crying.

“Is this unusual?” I asked while fishing a tissue out of my pocket.

“No, not at all,” Kathryn said.

I feel so relaxed, so peaceful, and so unlike my usual uptight self. My body is loose, a nagging pain in my right shoulder has faded dramatically, and I feel like I’ve had a massage that reached right down into my soul.

My misdeeds, missteps, and mistakes all seem so distant now. They represent who I was; not who I am.

It’s nice to put down my emotional baggage, step away from years of negative programming and get in touch with my real self.

I find I’m craving water instead of the usual vats of diet ice tea that I guzzle each night. Salty foods like pretzels don’t sit well with me at all, and while I usually put on music when I write, tonight I’m really enjoying the silence. After this session, it seems that my body doesn’t want to be needlessly stimulated.

Kathryn draws from such disciplines as Qigong, Reiki, the Sandlin Technique and others to create a fabulous spiritual experience.

Time For You To Leave

She shares an office with my shrink, which is a mere 10-minute walk from my house.

As soon as I entered Kathryn’s office, I took my wallet, cell phone, and keys, out of my pockets, removed my shoes, and stretched out on her massage table.

Then I closed my eyes and allowed Kathryn to work over my body while soothing music filled the air.

She proceeded very slowly, holding on to various parts of me for several moments before moving on. My breathing became so deep and so steady, as if I were stepping into my body for the first time.

I think I nodded off at some point during the session, but Kathryn assured me that “your spirit was still awake.”

Kathryn said that while my physical body is in good shape, I have a lot of trapped energy that she’s trying to move throughout my system.

“Your heart is in a cage,” she told me. “You have to visualize melting away the bars so it can love you.”

We talked about my difficulties with relationships and Kathryn said she felt that I might have been a monk in a past life because she felt this great sense of devotion.

Only now instead of directing that devotion toward religion, Kathryn suggested I focus on something creative, like writing.

Any other time I probably would have burst out laughing at the idea of being a monk in this or any other life. But now I was ready to receive any insights and advice that Kathryn had to offer.

She also told me that maybe relationships aren’t for me. Please understand she wasn’t telling me to give up looking for Miss Right. It’s more like I shouldn’t put pressure on myself to be with someone if that’s not the direction where my sprit is headed.

As my shrink likes to say, I have to get into a relationship with myself first.

I feel like I’ve been on a long journey, but I realize the journey is just beginning. My inner monk will walk through the byways of my psyche, exploring, discovering, and healing.

And I will use my sweet energy to melt those bars around my heart.