Sunday, August 11, 2013

Voice Maul

I picked up my favorite blue pen from my desk on Thursday afternoon and noticed that the clip had come loose.

Now how in the hell did that happen, I asked myself.

And then I remembered. I had broken the clip earlier that morning when I threw the pen down on my desk in a burst of rage.

I know I have anger management issues, but this time I had excuse for my Berserker routine--honestly. Well, sort of anyway…

I had been unable to reach my auntie all morning. She’s staying at her summer home in Massachusetts and we have a routine where I call her every morning before I leave for work.

On Thursday morning I got the voice mail, which happens occasionally when my aunt’s out for a walk or can’t get downstairs in time to pick up the phone.

I left her a message saying that I’d be leaving soon. Often she calls me back before I go out the door, but not this time.

Okay, I thought, no big deal. I’ll call her from the bus stop, which I did. And I got the voice mail again.

By the time my bus arrived I was going into full on lunacy mode and my crazed imagination was conjuring up an asylum’s worth of worst-case scenarios. She's all alone in a rural area. Who knows what kind of freaks are roaming around the woods? I called a third time.

“Marie,” I whispered frantically. “You have to call me back soon or I’ll going to call the police!”

The ride into work was a morbid affair and I felt sick to my stomach as I entered the lobby of my building.

For A Good Time Call

When I got to my desk I realized that I didn’t have the names or numbers of any of my aunt’s neighbors, which is ridiculous seeing that she and her husband bought the place in Seventies.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore. I decided to call the cops.

Only I didn’t know my aunt’s address. That sounds crazy, I know, but it’s the truth. I’ve been going there since I was in high school and yet I never attached a number to the place. It’s just…my aunt’s house.

I got the address off the Internet, grab my trusty blue pen, and started to write the address down. Only the goddamn pen didn’t work.
And that’s when I slammed it down onto the desk.

I told you had an excuse…well, sort of, anyway.

I called the police department in my aunt’s town, told the dispatcher my story, and prayed to God I’d hear good news very quickly.

It was probably about 20 minutes before my cell phone rang and I was speaking with Sgt. Perkins of the Cummington Police Department.

He said my aunt was fine and that he had in fact woken her up when he parked his patrol car into the driveway.

The phone service was out in a large part of the area—including my aunt’s house--and I had wrongly assumed that a working voicemail meant a functioning telephone. This probably explains why I don’t work for the phone company.

I thanked Sgt. Perkins profusely and then gave praise to Almighty God. I felt as if massive chains were falling off my body and I could breathe normally again.

It turns out that I had overreacted. But I had chosen a course of action, followed through on it, and resolved a scary situation as quickly as possible.

And it only cost me one busted pen.


Bijoux said...

I'm very surprised her voicemail worked if service was down! When we've been without service, there's always a recording or a busy signal.

I don't think you overreacted. We'd have all panicked! My husband once called the police from work when I was pregnant and not answering the phone. Turned out our oldest, who was 2 yrs old at the time, had played with the phone and it was off the hook. A little scary when the police are at your door!

Glad your aunt is ok!

Rob K said...

Thanks, Bijoux. The voicemail business surprised me, too.

I'm sure it is scary when the cops show up at your house, but the sense of relief is worth it!

Take care!

v said...

hey rob. funny you have a favorite blue pen, i have a favorite black pen and won't write in blue ink, ever.

glad your aunt was okay and you totally don't appear to be the kind with anger issues. i guess we all can show anger under the right circumstances. have a great day. hope you are feeling well.

Rob K said...

Hey, Val!

Thanks for your concern! Anger under the right circumstances can be productive.

Just don't mess with my blue pen!

Have a great day!

Ron said...

Well, I would have been equally as panacked, Rob. Especially not getting a response from your aunt.

And trust me, I've thrown MANY objects in my life out of anger. One time I threw a CD player down the stairs - HA!

"The phone service was out in a large part of the area—including my aunt’s house--and I had wrongly assumed that a working voicemail meant a functioning telephone. This probably explains why I don’t work for the phone company."

The same thing happened to me last week when my phone and Internet service went out. People were calling and still getting my voice mail; thinking that my service was back on and wondering WHY I wasn't calling them back. I finally had to email everyone to let them know that my phone still wasn't ringing or working.

Glad your aunt was okay!

Have a super week, buddy!

Rob K said...

Hey, Ron!

Thanks, buddy. I was a little on edge for a while, I can tell you.

And you sure showed that CD player who's boss! :)

Interesting about that voice mail business. I think it's a natural assumption that if voice mail is working, then the phone must be okay.

Take care, buddy!

Jay at The Depp Effect said...

I don't know how old your aunt is, but I don't think you over-reacted at all! If something had happened to her, time would have been of the essence.

By the way, for a long time I didn't know my sons' addresses, either. They were just ... there. Where they were. I didn't need the address, I had the phone and email details or I just drove there! I completely understand where you're coming from on that one!

Rob K said...

Hey, Jay, I didn't want to mention my auntie's age for fear that I might be the one in need of the police!

I didn't want to delay and then find out that I could've avoided a tragedy if I had only called sooner.

So many people fail to collect all these pertinent details about their loved ones because those little factoids aren't relevant. Until one day they are....

CrystalChick said...

I can see why you would be so concerned. And I would have thought... voicemail, working phone too. Guess I won't be getting a job with the phone company either.
Really glad your aunt is well. You're an awesome nephew, that's for sure.

Rob K said...

Oh, thank you so much! I may have hit the panic button, but I got my answer!