Light Over Darkness
I was off last week and I was wrapping up a Covid-19 staycation that coincided, in part, with Diwali, a festival of lights celebrated by Hindus, Jains, and Sikhs.
I had only recently become acquainted with Diwali, which symbolizes the spiritual "victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and—most importantly to me—“knowledge over ignorance."
I had heard the term before, but I had never made the effort to find out what it was about until a friend posted a Happy Diwali message on Facebook.
Diwali, I learned, comes from the Sanskrit word deepavali, meaning "rows of lighted lamps".
What a fabulous theme for my time off, I thought. I can clean up my apartment and clean out the hostility in my head. This will be great.
We’re currently suffering through an age of extreme ignorance, starting from the White House and working all the way down to the idiots in the grocery store who refuse to wear masks even as the number of coronavirus cases climbs higher and higher.
The least I can do is watch the anger that has plagued me for so long and perhaps light my own small lamp in this dark world.
The first day of the festival is known as Dhanteras and it is dedicated to cleaning homes and purchasing small items of gold.
Okay, well, I did some cleaning this week and I may yet discover gold if I ever get around to cleaning out my hallway closet. I may find also Jimmy Hoffa and the Arc of the Covenant if I keep digging around in there.
The fifth day, called Bhai Dooj, Bhai Tika, or Bhai Bij, celebrates the bond between brothers and sisters.
Follow that Crab!
That’s important to me as my sister and I spend a lot of time together, and even more now that this plague has shut down civilization.
On Saturday we went into Manhattan and walked around the financial district, stopping at Brookfield Place, a fabulous office and shopping complex on the Hudson River, where my company is headquartered, and which I had not seen since March.
After walking uptown for a while, we went back to Brooklyn, grabbed some burritos at a local Mexican place and bopped over to my sister’s place to eat and, in my case, nod off to an episode of Midsomer Murders.
When it was time to go home, I booked a ride with my favorite car service and went downstairs to wait.
Moments later the driver called and said he arrived. Great, I thought, and my sister and I walked out to the street and saw…nothing.
Okay, he’ll be here in a few minutes. Except that he wasn’t and finally I called him at my sister’s urging.
“I’m outside here,” the driver told me.
I then looked up the block and spotted a pair of distant headlights.
“Is that you?” I asked. “You’re in the wrong place!”
“No,” he insisted. “This is the right place.”
And then the headlights started to fade as the driver put his car in reverse.
I got louder and mouthier until the poor guy finally realized his mistake and rolled down the street.
It’s ironic that I was looking straight into a pair of headlights, but I was completely in the dark.
The insidious thing about rage is that it feels so good at the time.
You unload what you think is righteous and harmonious attitude upon an unfair world, but all you're really doing is throwing a hissy fit on some poor stiff who made an honest mistake.
This morning my sister pointed out my abysmal behavior and I realized that she was right and that I was way out of line. I gave the driver a decent tip, but that doesn’t excuse my rudeness.
I honestly feel that I’ve been improving in controlling the anger, so last night’s skirmish is a bit of disappointment.
But I also know that we’re all traveling in the dark and sometimes we’re going to get lost.
The trick is to get back on to the road as quickly as possible and back toward those rows of lighted lamps.
Comments
I LOVE Brookfield Place! In fact, I love the whole Financial District area of Manhattan. Which, by the way, I haven't visited since LAST February.
What you said about anger is so true. It does feel so good at the time. And that's why I think it can be addictive. Anger is like a drug that becomes an "automatic" way of reaction. Anger very often makes you feel powerful because you get a sudden surge of energy when you express it.
Again, I think you're doing FABULOUS with your growth because you are quickly realizing what happens to you when you react, which is such a great thing because that's what changes our behavior -- being aware.
I love what you said here...
" I also know that we’re all traveling in the dark and sometimes we’re going to get lost."
Yes, exactly. It happens. But at least you realizing that. I think sometimes the hardest person to forgive is ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your journey and your lessons. Wonderful post! And I admire you.
Have a superb week, buddy!
Hey, Ron, that you so much for all these lovely comments! You are the best, my friend!
Isn't Brookfield Place amazing?
As much as I hate commuting, I didn't mind going there every day because it felt like you were leaving the city, even though you were a few blocks from Broadway.
I appreciate your understanding and sympathy. I am really trying to change and shake that anger monkey off my back.
And, honestly, I've been catching myself a lot lately. I'm very proud of myself for defusing these emotional bombs.
But we're all works in progress and clearly I have more work to do.
Thanks as always for stopping by, buddy, take care and have a great week!
And Happy Thanksgiving@!
Tank you for the information about Diwali, which I too knew nothing about aside from some brief online information, its core of "victory of light over darkness, good over evil, and knowledge over ignorance" ere especially enlightening to read.The fact that the first day is dedicated to cleaning house is a good one for me as well, but no gold-buying here either and I laughed at what you said you could find in your hallway closet.
It's nice that you and your sister spend much time together. I have one sibling, a brother who lives in NJ and my husband, Patrick, is an only child.
About that rage at the car driver which was understandable although as you later noted perhaps not warranted. Who among us has not screamed out at another person or even an inanimate object (ask my husband who tells me the tools work better afterwards). As you sagely noted we ALL are traveling in the dark, now more so than before and sadly solo because of you know what, so we get lost as you did, but then we get back on that higher road.
Don't beat yourself up too much, my friend, because as we all know stuff happens all the time. It's HOW we handle it going forward that matters most.
Enjoy the 🦃 holiday and the lights!
It is really appreciated as I continue to struggle with this anger in my heart.
Thanksgiving will be somewhat muted this year for obvious reasons, but my sister and I are planning some kind of small get-together.
And thanks for the holiday greeting list offer. That's really important now as we try to stay connected.
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and do take care!
I'd really like to learn more about Diwali. The concept just fascinates me!
And let's give 2020 the awful send-off it deserves!
Happy Thanksgiving!