Rather Knot

The heavyset woman walking toward me Saturday morning had a message on her tank top for all the world to see.

I’d rather be sleeping, it said.

I knew the feeling. I wish I could’ve stayed in bed myself, but I had someplace to be.

I had volunteered to conduct podcast interviews for the IFC’s Festival of Cinema, which was being held in Forest Hills, Queens, a grueling 90-minute subway trip from my home in Bay Ridge.

I did the same thing last week and it was an exhausting day that completely upended my precious little weekend schedule.

But it was also a terrific experience where I met and worked with fabulous, talented people, and got a chance to expand my interview skills by speaking with filmmakers on camera—something new for this old print and website reporter.

And this all happened because I ignored that “rather” that told me to preserve the status quo at all costs—even though it was doing absolutely nothing to improve my life.

I’ve been doing an inventory of my “rathers” and I find there’s a dark branch of that family that can hold us back if we’re not careful.

Now, like every other working person on earth, I’m pretty tired when I get home at the end of the day.

Yeah, I’d rather sit in my living room and watch Netflix all night and then go to bed. But then what happens to that next book I want to write? Or the play that’s forming in the back of my mind and demanding attention? Or those scripts sorely in need of revision?

By Bread Alone

I’ll tell you what happens to all those projects—nothing, that’s what.

I recently went diet after I noticed some scary numbers popping up my scale. I did a quick recon of both my diet and my brain and I saw that I eating far too many carbs, subconsciously deciding that I had to have bread at every meal as if it were some papal bull.

Oh, it was bull alright, straight up bull that had me struggling to zip up my pants.

Yeah, I’d rather have all that bread, cheese, and bananas anytime I wanted, but I was unhappy with the extra weight. So, I ignored that rather as well, and that little bulge around my gut is nearly gone and now I can slip into my pants with the greatest of ease.

It’s important to be realistic about your efforts. I don’t lie to myself and loudly declare that I don’t miss bread. I do miss it and I miss snacking between meals and I miss stuffing myself with pasta.

But I don’t miss that gut and that realization has been keeping me out of the kitchen after dark.

I’d rather stay home and watch TV on weekends. I’d rather be alone than meet new friends or have a serious relationship. These rathers may be satisfying an immediate desire, but they also suffocate long-term, and long-lasting goals.

Certainly, there are good rathers that apply to the kind of work you do or who you want to spend your life with. These are perfectly acceptable—as long as they help you grow.

I finally got to Forest Hills on Saturday and I had a blast, conducting two interviews, chilling with my friends, and exploring a new neighborhood. I was tired and a bit cranky by the end of that long day, but I’m so glad that I ignored the message on that woman’s t-shirt.