The Good Life

Now comes the hard part.

I went to see my doctor this week, six weeks after he operated on both my knees, and got a new, more flexible set of leg braces.

My physical therapist had warned me not to be shocked by the sight of my emaciated legs, but I have to say it was quite a jolt seeing these two toothpicks attached to my body.

Still, my PT guy says the muscles will return just as quickly as they disappeared.

As my doctor examined my knees, a stray thought sailed across my mind like a shooting star on a summer night.

I've had a good life.

That sounds rather strange coming from a chronic complainer like yours truly, but this awful experience has taught me a lot about gratitude-or it can, as long as I allow it.

Before the accident I went to work, went to the gym, did some (but not enough) socializing, and worked on my writing. While it wasn't the perfect life-what life is?--I was doing well.

But I wasn't really happy. I was always worried about something, always rushing somewhere, always upset, annoyed, or angry about things in the distant past or possible future. I didn't spend enough time in the present being grateful.

Now that my life has been thoroughly disrupted I can finally see how good things were for me. I suppose it's better late than never for such insights, but I'd rather not live my life looking in the rearview mirror.

Shake All the Blues Away

Part of me believes that if I say I'm satisfied with my life, then I'll stop trying to improve. Last year I wrote in my New Year's Day post that I'm looking to achieve a state of striving gratitude, where I'm thankful for what I have, but always looking to better myself.

Maybe this accident will help me reach that goal.

My doctor wants me to stretch my knees and my PT guy has put me through a series of torturous routines designed to bring me back to normalcy.

I'm trying to do what he says, but I'm afraid of damaging my knees all over again. The therapist assures me that this won't happen, noting that the fear is holding me back.

I've been sitting in a chair for my morning meditation with my feet flat on the floor and it's been a real struggle.

On Saturday morning I was so down I wondered if I'll ever get back to where I used to be. Of course, that kind of talk pretty much guarantees that I won't get back to where I was, but it's hard to be positive when I look at these two wasted pins of mine and feel that agony in my knees whenever I try to sit down like a human being.


I came across an old quote I had posted on Facebook a few years back, but obviously didn't absorb.

It said the "The vibration of gratitude attracts more positive things into your life" and I have to say I am fascinated by this concept of vibration.

"Every thought, word and action carries its own vibrational frequency," according to the website Forever Conscious. "It comes back to the Law of Attraction- whether you 'ask' for it or not, you are drawn to situations, people or objects that are in line with your vibrational resonance."

The post says fear gives off a low vibration while love is much higher. In a list of the top 12 ways you can boost your vibration, guess which one holds the top position-yep, gratitude.

Now I'm going back to work tomorrow for the first time since Dec. 14 and I'm nervous as hell about that. And I'm worried about my recovery.

But I want to drive out these debilitating thoughts and boost the good stuff until I'm vibrating like a two-ton tuning fork.

Comments

Bon chance, mon ami. Channel your inner Tibetan Tiger-Man when you need that extra reserve of strength.
Jay said…
Yay - more flexible braces! Now you'll make progress!

Yes, I know about the emaciated limb thing. My left arm is still not quite back to what it was before but I'm working on it, and I had the disadvantage of not being operated on immediately, so I had two stints in the immobilising sling instead of one. You didn't have that, so you should get the muscle back more quickly. I also know about the fear of re-injuring the repairs. I know that one SO well. I still worry a bit, but so much less than I did, and I'm now really working those exercises. Sure, it causes soreness and pain sometimes, but that's because everything is weak, and it gets stiff through disuse. If I can now get my arm up above my head and behind my back, you will walk - if not run - back to that gym.

You'll get there, Rob - and you're right. Positive thinking and positive attitude brings positive benefits.
Rob K said…
Thanks so much, Jay. It's great to hear from someone who has knows what I'm going through.

Your support means to much to me! And I hope your arm heals as soon as possible--then we can arm wrestle! :)

MWAH!


Rob K said…
@Walter

"So, you think your kung ku is better than mine, eh?..."

Thanks! That Tibetan Tiger-Man had enough energy to beat the band--and he often did!

Ron said…
"I didn't spend enough time in the present being grateful."

Rob, that was one of the MAIN things I also learned when I went into the hospital for two weeks two years ago. I had all that time to reflect on my life, which one of the things that was a huge lesson for me was that I often took so much for granted, especially my health. I needed that time to snap me to attention, to slow down, live in the moment, and take time to continually remind myself just how blessed I am. It's true, gratitude is a vibration that just naturally attracts more things to be grateful for.

And I do sincerely believe that it IS possible to live in the moment yet, still move forward and grow.

The best to you tomorrow, returning to work!

GO, buddy, GO!
Rob K said…

Hey, Ron, how's it going?

Thank you so much for your kindness and support! I'm trying to get something useful out of this awful experience. It's really good to know I've got friends like you backing me up!

Take care care, buddy!
Jay said…
Arm wrestling, Rob? Let's just take it as read that you'd win! A foot race, now - that'd be an opportunity for my first-ever win at a 100 yard sprint! I could dine out on that one for years! :D

But only if we do it before you're fully recovered, of course. After that, I doubt I'll win any kind of competition - running, arm-wrestling, writing, anything. Except maybe I could beat you on crochet. Now, there's a thought. You'd better get the hook and wool out and start practising!
Bijoux said…
I've had many tell me how tough PT can be, but it sounds like you are making progress. I hope being back at work helps to facilitate even more recovery.
Rob K said…
Thanks, Bijoux!!
Rob K said…
@Jay

A foot race? Only if you give me a 99 yard head start!! And I already concede on the crochet contest!

But we don't have to compete in anything, my most dearest Jay! You've already won my heart!!
Like you I never realised what a good life I had. Until I started meditating and letting go of stuff. On the other hand, Mindfulness has helped root myself more to my here and now.

Good luck! :-)

Greetings from London.
Rob K said…
Hi, Mario, how's it going?

I'm glad to see we're on the same path. I've been lax with the mediation since the accident, but I want to get back into it so I can more rooted in the here and now.

Take care!

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