Wow of Silence
For most of my life, I’ve been searching for ways to keep my noodle in shape, and while I’ve made some marginal progress in this area, I still have a lot of work to do.
The idea is that you step outside of yourself and take a nice long look at your mind. You don’t judge, you don’t scold, you don’t do anything except observe what’s going on in your head.
It’s good way of catching destructive thought patterns and, we hope, undoing them.
So, I’ve been observing lately, and I see that I fly off the handle far too often.
The computer is too slow, I can’t find my wallet, one of my articles isn’t coming together fast enough--whatever the excuse may be--and I start cursing and fuming like a bag lady in the Port Authority Bus Terminal.
I live alone and it seems that my subconscious mind has essentially given myself permission to get quite vocal at times, reasoning that there’s no one nearby to suffer through this F-bomb barrage.
Of course, I’m nearby and it’s not doing me any good. And this bratty behavior will only ensure that no one else will be nearby because who needs this misery?
And I don’t mean just the swear words, as I’ve got a nonstop line of audible patter that starts the moment I wake up.
On Saturday morning, I decided enough already, I was tired of hearing my own voice and I decided to clam up.
Confucious said that silence is the friend that never betrays; Leonardo da Vinci believed that nothing strengthens authority so much as silence and Rumi had one of my favorite quotes about quietude: “when I am silent, I fall into that place where everything is music.”
Who am I to argue with these guys?
Some people take vows of silence as a personal challenge to improve their listening skills, reduce unnecessary chatter, or gain a deeper understanding of themselves.
Speak No Evil
The Trappists cultivate silence as part of their daily lives to foster an inner quiet, facilitating prayer, contemplation, and a deeper connection with God, while also promoting a sense of peace and focus.
Peace and focus, yeah, I could use a lot more of both, and if zipping my lip can provide a pathway to a more serene state of mind then I more than willing to oblige.
And after a while, I started to like it. I felt…better. I was staying in the present moment and getting angry a lot less often.
I walked to my local supermarket and found myself looking at the world around me instead ricocheting around my own head.
And I had a series of nice encounters when I got to the store. I joked around with the cashier; I shot the breeze with another worker who was nearby.
As I walked down the street, I looked up at the beautiful blue sky and decided that two crossed cloud streams were making a V for Victory. Moments later a total stranger coming in the opposite direction said hello to me.
Yes, I thought, this self-imposed silent treatment was going to change my entire life.
And then some jerk in a big black car came barreling down Colonial Road while I was entering the crosswalk and kept right on going—even though I had the right of way.
Okay…
I’ve been reading up on the Stoics and Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius has a line to describe these kinds of situations.
“Begin each day by telling yourself: today I shall be meeting with interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness – all of them due to the offenders’ ignorance of what is good or evil,” he said.
Yeah, it was annoying as hell, but I didn’t blow my stack like I normally do, so there's some good news right there.
I’m on my second day on my silent journey and I’m finding it ain’t easy, not by a long shot. The first day’s novelty has worn off and now I’ve got to work at making it stick.
There’s a story about Frank Sinatra meeting Luciano Pavarotti at Sophia Loren’s New York apartment. (I just want to pause for just a moment here and say, “holy crap!”)
Sinatra was struggling with his voice, particularly when finishing notes, and he asked the opera legend for advice.
“That’s easy,” Pavarotti said. “Just-a close-a you mouth!”
Word to live by.
Comments
Take care!