Breaking Through in ‘22
And with that determination comes the inevitable backlash in the form of an accusing inner voice that says you’re not doing enough, damn it--even though it’s only January 2.
I should probably give this resolution business a rest, but I love this time of year—even the nutsy part.
I’m thrilled at the thought of cleaning the slate and taking another crack at getting it right.
Yes, I am aware that most resolutions fizzle out pretty quickly.
A study by researchers at the University of Scranton found that only 19% of people actually stick to their resolutions.
An article in Psychology Today warned against starting your resolutions on January 1.
The author, Amy Morin, said that “people don't change their lives until they're ready.”
She has a good point. I didn’t wait until New Year’s Day to cut down on my unbridled consumption of diet soda.
I got religion the second my doctor told me that my blood sugar numbers were rising.
Still, I like to use New Year’s Day as a jumping off point.
These last few years have been challenging, given the pandemic, the GOP’s on-going assault on democracy and mass shootings, including a recent one in Denver that had me calling my brother with my heart in my mouth.
So, I guess my first resolution should be to focus on things I can control and not freak about the stuff I can’t.
I really want to change my brain, to cut out, or at least reduce the negativity and the hostility that makes me so miserable.
No Room at the Inn
Having just watched A Christmas Carol, I see that you can go through life either like Jacob Marley, who was weighed down by chains of his own creation, or like Houdini, who made a living out of breaking free of chains.
It’s up to you.
One of theme songs for the new year is oldie by Carly Simon called “Haven’t Got Time for the Pain.”
The song describes how about a new relationship has helped the singer move away from all the grief in her past.
“Now melodrama never makes me weep anymore,” the lyrics go, “’Cause I haven’t got time for the pain. I haven’t got room for the pain. I haven’t the need for pain…”
I didn’t think much of the song when it came out in 1974, but, of course, I was much younger.
I had no idea what real pain was, and I certainly didn’t know anything about time.
I thought I’d be young forever, but the reality is that I’ll turn sixty-freaking-five in May.
I thought that was pretty twisted when I first heard it; being half-Italian, part of me believes that the very mention of the Grim Reaper’s name is like inviting him into your home.
But those words can actually help you to live a better life.
If you know that one day you will leave this world, a ton of the nonsense that’s troubling you right now will suddenly seem meaningless.
You haven’t got time for the pain.
I’ve also recently added another tool to my emotional defense system in the form of Homey D. Clown, a character that Damon Wayans played on the 1990s show In Living Clown.
Whenever someone tried to get him to do some standard clown routine—do a stupid dance or fall on his rear end--this extremely hostile performer would angrily declare “Homey don’t play that!”
Don’t ask me why in the waning days of 2021, I thought of a character from a nearly 30-old TV show I rarely watched.
All I know is that whenever I feel rage or negativity taking over, I roll right over them with a hearty internal shout of “Homey don’t play that!”
Jacob Marley, Houdini, the Stoics and Homey the Clown. It’s a pretty diverse crew, but as long as they help me get the job done, I’m satisfied.
Happy New Year.
Comments
"The author, Amy Morin, said that “people don't change their lives until they're ready.”
I agree with Amy, I don't think people change until they're ready. It's like people who continually do all this stuff to stop smoking and always seem to go back to smoking. I believe that you won't stop until you are good and ready. That's why I never attempted to quit until the day I woke up and said, "Okay...I'm done smoking." And I've never gone back.
I don't make New Year's resolutions. Never have. I just wait to see where my life takes me and then make changes accordingly. And I'm not one for setting goals either. I will definitely move forward with something I feel that I want to do, however, I don't set a definite this-is-the-way-I-want-it-to-go plan, because things change. And for me, I always want to remain open and adaptable because I don't always know what's best for me.
Btw, I recently watched a recent interview with Carly Simon and LOVED it. I could listen to her talk for hours. VERY cool lady! She and James Taylor made such an attractive and talented couple.
Happy New Year, buddy!
Bijoux, I'm happy to hear that your worst fears did not pan out.
And I second your called for a happy, relaxing 2022.
Take care!
We try to watch 'A Christmas Carol' each year. Which version did you see? We like the one with Patrick Stewart and Joel Grey.
The thought of a clean slate for the new year sure does sound good, but I usually don't make specific personal resolutions. I put up little poster on Facebook the other day and it was just basically... be happy, creative, adventurous, etc. My favorite was 'stay weird'... that one I think I can do. haha Tend to agree with that author though... people change when they are ready.
~Mary
Hey, Ron!
I wanted to include that link from Amy Morin's story because I believe a lot of people share that view.
I only use Jan. 1 as a starting off point, but as you say, people don't stop doing something until their good and ready. And good for you for quitting smoking!
Goal setting is another thing I like to do and another thing that many people warn against. Great point about remaining adaptable.
And, yes, Carly Simon and James Taylor make a very cool couple!
All the best, buddy!
I also do not make NYR because like you said in the article, most of the folks that do so fail to keep them within even a few months. Instead, I plan to work on changes within myself and that can be harder because some will involve others. Like Ms Morin said, people change, when ready. I'm ready for some changes in 2022.
Kudos to you for cutting down on diet soda. While it's not one of my addictions, I knew folks who would have soda with breakfast. Whoops, hope you were not in that group.
Carly Simon had some sage wisdom in that song. Who has time for the pain?
Hey, Dorothy, Happy New Year!
My pleasure regarding the card and thanks so much for yours.
I find your statement that you're ready for some changes in 2022 to be so inspiring. I wish you success in all of your efforts.
And, yes, I'm ashamed to admit that I was a member of the Diet Coke Breakfast Club. But I'm busting out.
Take care and thank you so much for stopping by.
Hey, Mary, what do you say?
My family is partial to the 1951 version of A Christmas Carol with Alastair Sim. It really brings Dickens' story to life.
I like your approach to the new year, especially the "stay weird" part. That could be the title of my autobiography.
Thanks so much for stopping by and my best wishes to you and your family for 2022!