Hotel Hell

-
“Running away from your problems is a race you will never win.”

Well, at least this time I was wearing pants.

I had a nightmare last week that made my recent nude subway ride dream look like a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I kept my clothes on this time, but my emotions were stripped naked.

While the MTA debacle was humiliating and frightening, this latest nocturnal commission was a heart-breaking horror show I wouldn’t even wish on the guy who wrote “Billy Don’t Be a Hero”, and God knows I hate that song.

It seems my subconscious saw me reeling from its last poisonous production, declared, “hey, chuckles, you ain’t seen nothing yet!” and delivered the goods, which were quite bad.

Is it possible to take out an order of protection against myself?

This particular disaster took place in some hotel some place in Westchester. Always usual, I don’t know how I know these facts, I just know.

I was there on some work-related matter when I ran into a woman I dated in the Eighties and whom I seriously considered marrying.

But I was young, stupid and quite lost back then and I managed to thoroughly tank that relationship.

This woman’s presence in my mind is not altogether surprising in that I’m writing a novel with a character based upon her.

Okay, so she appears in this dream, older, of course, but still looking wonderful. And the old heartache kicks in as I ask myself yet again how in the hell did I ever lose such a good and decent person.

This would’ve been a good time to wake up, but, no, my hippocampus turned hippopotamus and squatted right on my soul.

Checkout Time

As I approach her, I see that my old flame is with this butthole I knew from high school. And when I say “with” I mean they were a freaking couple.

Yes, I understand she had moved on with her life after all this time, but did she have to hook up with this hump?

And then it got really depraved when she shows up in one of the meeting rooms and starts making out with that douche bag right before my weeping eyes.

Can somebody please point me toward the nearest subway station?

When I woke up I felt like a cement truck had backed up over my life. I seriously asked God, why the hell did you stick me with this terrible dream?

I ain’t no saint, but I ain’t no Manson either.

But then a few moments passed and I was able to think more clearly. I realized that this wasn’t the Good Lord’s doing; it was mine.

We are the Supreme Beings of our dreams; we create the characters, we write the stories, and we play all the parts in our psychodramas.

And we sure as hell feel the pain.

As with all dreams, there’s a lot to decipher here. My biggest concern is why my subconscious keeps giving me the finger.

There’s a lot of fear and hostility happening on the lower levels of my mind. Loneliness and isolation have been cranking up the crazy in a lot of people during the pandemic.

We’re caught between the pressure of the Covid-19 quarantine and the oppressive winter weather, so the mind responds by creating bizarre landscapes and some pretty sick scenarios.

This nightmare, like all the others, is a warning about the need to make connections and let go of the past.

I’m just hoping that in my next dream I’ll go to someplace nicer. Like the Bates Motel.

Comments

Bijoux said…
Oh boy, that sounds like a doozy. I had a nightmare last night and the oddest part was that during the dream, I was thinking in my head, ‘This seems real.” I woke up mid-dream, very confused! Here’s to a better nights sleep tonight!
3:36 PM
Rob K said…
Oh, boy, Bijoux, that sounds like a hoot!

I think this pandemic is doing a number on all of us.

One of my friends suggested that since most of us have gone anywhere in a year, our subconscious minds are making up the slack--with some pretty spooky results.

Sleep tight!



5:09 PM
Ron said…
"Is it possible to take out an order of protection against myself?"

Rob, I literally laughed out loud at that. HYSTERICAL!

And yes, I hate "Billy Don't Be a Hero" too! OMG, that song came out the year I graduated high school in 1974!

Again, I really admire how acutely aware you have become about "seeing" yourself. And how you are using your dream state to reveal things to you. Dreams are very often the most potent way for our subconscious to break through to our consciousness.

Well done, Rob!

Oh, and by the way, that first photo you used from "The Shinning", is (to me, anyway) the scariest part of that movie. Those two little twins girls at the end of the hall scared the SHIT of me. They are so damn creepy! AWESOME film, though!

Have a spooktacular week, Norman B.
6:08 PM
Rob K said…
Hey, Ron, what do you say?

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who hates that song. That thing is an audio atrocity!

Excellent point about dreams breaking through to the conscious mind.

And we agree on that scene from "The Shining," too. Those girls gave me the creeps!

Be careful in the shower, buddy!

Have a great week!
6:16 PM
Jay said…
Rob, did you know that nightmares have become a common feature of this extended pandemic? It seems the longer we are banged up at home with no social contact with real people, the less well we are coping on a psychological level - even when we think we're doing OK. Think about it: human beings are social animals, even the most introverted of us. We have evolved to live in groups, and to regard the presence of other people - both known and unknown - as a good and necessary thing which brings security and comfort. But these days, we are denied the possibility to hug our friends and relatives, we can't relax when we are with someone, and there is an increasing & unnatural fear of strangers in pretty much ALL situations when we are out and about. We don't know where the threat of serious disease and possible death may come from, and it's invisible and undetectable. The media is rubbing its hands with glee and laying it on as thick as it can in an effort to grab our attention for this channel or that newspaper. Is it any wonder that our anxiety levels are through the roof? I've been having nightmares too - and even OH, who hardly ever remembers his dreams, is having them because we are all so stressed that it's got to bust out somewhere. Perhaps if you can accept your nightmares for what they are - simple manifestations of our elevated stress hormone levels - you might at least stop worrying about why you're getting them and what they might mean? I do know how horrible and emotionally draining they are, trust me. I wake up in a cold sweat sometimes.
3:51 AM
Rob K said…
Hey, Jay, great to hear from you!

I was wondering about this very issue this morning--are we as a society having more nightmares due to Covid-19?

We are living in such unnatural and unhealthy conditions, we can hardly be surprised that our minds aren't taking it well.

I really appreciate your thoughts and advice on this, dearest Jay. Let's hope this living nightmare ends as soon as possible and we can get back to having pleasant dreams!


BTW, the Scientific American did a story about this in October:

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-covid-19-pandemic-is-changing-our-dreams/#:~:text=Bulkeley's%20three%2Dday%20poll%20revealed,and%20being%20threatened%20by%20others.
1:27 PM
Beatrice P. Boyd said…
Hi Rob, like I might said in a comment to a previous post you did about your dreams, you do have way more frightening and scary ones than myself. Not that I would wish bad ones on anyone.Lately, I have either not been having any dreams, which seems unlikely, or just can't recall them.

I think that the previous comment by Jay may be right on in these days, weeks, months and nearly a year in which many have felt isolated and completely out of close contact with family and friends. Sure I write, email and talk to many people but it's just NOT the same as seeing them "up close and personal" and unmasked. We are set for our 2nd vaccine shot in a couple of weeks and honestly it doesn't feel like anything will be changing and that is so disheartening.

I don't really recall that song you mentioned, but as soon as I finish this comment I'm looking it up on YouTube.

10:19 AM
Beatrice P. Boyd said…
Rob, I just finished listening to most of that tune. I vaguely remembered it, but have no memory of the group that recorded it in 1974, Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods. Definitely not on one of top lists and reminded me of a couple of similar tunes dealing with car crashes. Do you remember "Tell Laura I Love Her?"
10:27 AM
Rob K said…
Hey, Beatrice!

We are certainly living in strange times.

I see photos on Facebook from a year ago and I can't believe how we once walked around without masks and without social distancing.

I'm glad you're getting your second Covid shot, but you are right in that very little will change any time soon. Ugh...

Yes, Bo Donaldson and his freaking Heywoods inflicted that horrible tune upon us.

And, yes, I do remember "Tell Laura I Love Her," where poor Laura ran back to get her ring out of a car stuck on the railroad tracks.

Sappy, but as horrid as the Heywoods.

Take care!
9:33 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Bystander Effect

-
Image
Winston Moseley knew no one would stop him. “I knew they wouldn't do anything,” he told police after his arrest. “They never do.” Moseley murdered Kitty Genovese in Queens in 1964 in one of the most infamous murder cases in modern times. The horrific crime gained worldwide attention largely because of a New York Times article that said “38 respectable, law-abiding citizens” did nothing while Moseley attacked Kitty Genovese on three separate occasions. The story sparked worldwide condemnation and provided material for writers and composers, including the Phil Ochs song “ Outside of a Small Circle Friends .” There was talk of the Bystander Effect or the Genovese Effect and the words “I didn’t want to get involved” summed up life in the big city. The Kitty Genovese case is the subject of a new documentary called The Witness that explores the mythology surrounding the murder. The film features Kitty’s brother, Bill, who was 16 years old at the time of his sister’s murder. ...
Read more

‘Permanently Closed’

-
Image
And, so, another local landmark is gone. My sister and I passed by O’Sullivan’s Bar & Grill in Bay Ridge last night during our after-dinner walk and saw nothing but darkness. There were no lights shining from this old Irish saloon that the O’Sullivan family took over in 1934. There were no customers outside taking a cigarette break on Third Avenue; no voices, music or laughter emenating from the corner business on 89th Street. A dark bar on a Saturday night only means one thing, but I didn’t want to accept the grim reality. I had to walk up to the front door, grab hold of the handle and pull back. But the place was locked up tight. This morning I jumped on the Internet in hopes of learning that the owners were on vacation, or that they were renovating the place and would be reopening in grand style any day now. But the bar’s Yelp page was branded with two grisly words at the top: “Permanently Closed.” I’ve been searching around local message boards for any ind...
Read more

Renew Year

-
Image
In retail, they call it “a soft opening.” New restaurants usually debut with a grand opening, as they announce their presence with all kinds of fanfare and hoopla. On the other hand, a soft opening involves working with a limited number of customers, so the owners have a chance to try out their menu on real people. I’ve taking that second approach for the New Year. Rather than waiting for the ball to come down in Times Square at midnight, I’ve been implementing—or trying to—some of my resolutions ahead of all the noise and confetti. I like this plan, but inner saboteur, as usual, is getting in the way of things. This morning I woke up with a bad case of the New Year’s heebie-jeebies, where I’m convinced that I’m not changing fast enough, and I go into emotional vapor lock. This usually starts in the first week of the year, but I guess my shadow self doesn’t feel like waiting. So, I’ve decided I’m going to ease into 2024. I’ll work on the stuff that needs fixing, but I’m...
Read more