Oh, fuck you.
Fuck your prayer vigils. Fuck your stupid candles and your teddy bears and your flowers and your ridiculous little angel pictures on Facebook.
Fuck all that and fuck you, too.
It’s the guns, you morons. It’s the goddamn guns. You know it. And if you don’t know it, please do the world a favor and kill yourself immediately.
No one will say a prayer or light a candle in your memory, I promise you.
Oh, what’s the use? We’ve got 20 children and six adults shot dead in Connecticut, slaughtered like animals by yet another gun-toting psycho and you can almost hear the NRA propaganda machine going into overdrive as they blather on about our rights and big government and black helicopters and the Bible and God knows what other kinds of unmitigated bullshit.
They’ll talk about freedom, and, gosh, there’s nothing that says “freedom” like a pile of bullet-riddled kids, is there?
Oh, and yes, the gun nuts will be sure to drag the Founding Fathers out of their graves yet again. Washington, Jefferson, John Adams, the whole crowd—they’re the Walking Dead of the gun rights movement.
It doesn’t matter that back in 1776 it took about 5 minutes to shoot and reload a musket, that you'd be better off using the thing as a club than as a firearm.
No, George and the rest of the boys are looking down from Buckshot Heaven right this very minute and just beaming with pride as we prepare fresh graves for our children.
You want to ban knives because, you know, people, like, stab other? And what about cars, huh? People die in them, too, don’t they?
We've heard these arguments. It’s the old magician’s trick of misdirection. The NRA has been doing it for years and Americans, being such a pathetically stupid lot, fall for it every time.
I am absolutely ashamed of this country.
These images of blood-soaked survivors and grieving relatives go all over the world for Christ’s sake. And these atrocities happen so often that I can’t keep them straight in my head.
Columbine. Virginia Tech. Tucson. Aurora. What is it going to take? How many people have to die, how many more beautiful children have to be zipped up into body bags before the idiots in this country realize that they’re being sold a bill of goods?
Our politicians are spineless whores who dance like monkeys for the chump change that the NRA throws at them. And the ones that aren’t bought off are cowards.
We live in a nation where mentally ill people have obscenely easy access to horrific firepower and they are aided and abetted by a legally-sanctioned terrorist organization that seems bound and determined to make sure every psychopath gets a gun.
There is no need for people to own these heavy duty handguns. You want to go into the woods and kill animals, fine, get a hunting rifle. But these automatic weapons are made solely to kill people and they have to be put under strict control.
I’m sure all the keyboard killers out there are wet-dreaming themselves up into frenzy, bravely declaring from the safety of their basements how they’ve would taken that sumbitch out if they had been there. Hey, guys, it’s time to switch hands.
Maybe we should arm our children. Put a .9mm in their lunch boxes along with the PP&J sandwich. Wouldn’t that make us a strong and happy nation?
In late July I went to a service at St. Paul’s Chapel in lower Manhattan to pray for the victims of the mass shooting in Aurora, CO.
We rang a bell and recited the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, one of the most beautiful pleas to Almighty God that I’ve ever heard, a message that is so touching it brings tears to my eyes.
“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,” it begins. “Where there is hatred, let me sow love…”
Forgive me, Lord, but I’ve got an awful lot of hatred in my heart right now.
I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be a cursing, ranting lunatic incoherently spewing obscenities. I want to sow pardon where there is injury and hope where there is despair.
But don’t ask me to remain silent. Don’t tell me it’s too soon to talk about gun control. Please don’t light any more candles, lay down any more flowers or hand out any more teddy bears.
And please, no more vigils. You know what has to be done. You have to ban the guns.
Do it or shut the fuck up.