From Hare to Eternity

Good things really do come in threes.

Over the last few weeks, I have been interviewd by the New York Times and appeared as a guest on CNN.

But these events don’t begin to compare to my latest stroke of good fortune.

I am happy—nay, ecstatic—to report that Lucy, my cousin’s beautiful 10-year-old daughter, has written a children’s story especially for me.

The story is entitled “Rob” and it’s all about a magical rabbit named…Rob.

I'm telling you, this one’s got “bestseller” written all over it. This Rob is no run-of-the-mill carrot-chomping cotton tail. He can speak, change colors, and glow in the dark. He even has pockets in his fur.

I was overjoyed when I saw the story on Lucy’s blog (sorry, invitation only). I’ve never had a character named after me--especially one you can use for a lamp in case of a blackout.

And the timing could not have been better, as I had just gone through a harrowing three-day period filled with nightmares of both the waking and sleeping variety.

This was a shorter week due to the holiday, but apparently Fate always feels the need to cram in an extra helping of grief just to make you sure don’t get too comfortable.

I had to fill in for my boss for a few days, which meant I'd be on the hook if something went wrong. I told myself not to worry, that I would be able to handle anything that came up, but apparently my subconscious wasn’t taking any messages.

So on Monday night I dreamed I was on a train in somewhere in Scandinavia. I was dragging around several large pieces of luggage and when the train pulled into a station, I stepped off to look around the platform.

I left my suitcases on the train because I knew that we wouldn’t be leaving for several minutes. Unfortunately, the engineer and the conductor had different plans.

I heard a soft ding-dong, saw the train’s doors close and watched as the damn thing pulled out of the station…with my luggage.

I stood thinking how could I have been so foolish? God, my books, my papers, my clothes! And, of course, I didn't have labels on any of the suitcases.

Pack It In

The next thing I remember I was speaking with some blond-haired, bearded man in a conductor's uniform who said he would do his best to find my luggage, but he didn't sound too hopeful.

This sounds incredibly obvious, but I wonder if the whole "emotional baggage" schtick is playing out here. I would never be so careless in my waking life, so maybe my subconscious was trying to set me free. Only in the dream I didn’t feel free at all.

And why Scandinavia, for God's sake? I have enough trouble nagivating around Brooklyn.

Wednesday night I hit the sack convinced I had gotten the sleep thing down. I was going to rest up, prepare for a long day and do great things at the office.

And that’s when the zombies showed up.

I remember very little of this dream, which is probably a good thing, because the images I do retain scared the screaming bejeezus out of me.

A gang of cannibal corpses who refused to play dead were right on my butt clanking their teeth like a chorus of rabid castanets.

I snapped awake at 12:30am on the digital clock --no bite marks--and slept on and off--mostly off--for the rest of the night.

Where did the zombies come from? Lately I’ve been watching reruns of Millennium on the Chiller Network and they run a promo for the station featuring scenes from several horror movies, including a remake of Dawn of the Dead, which features hordes of flesh eating zombies.

But I’ve seen that commercial plenty of times and I’ve never had any bad dreams. Perhaps the images combined with the pressure from the office had turned my mind into nightmare central.

Meanwhile, back in reality, my computer crashed just hours before deadline on Thursday and I had to get the tech people to fire up another machine just so we could publish. We made it, but not before I had an epic conniption fit.

By the end of the week I was in need of some good news. So I clicked on to Lucy’s blog and there was the story of Rob the Magical Rabbit.

I have to say that this Rob is cool under pressure. When Melody, the young heroine, is dangled over hungry crocodiles, Rob runs to get help, comes back, chews through the ropes and leads Melody to safety. Beat that, Lassie.

I’m so proud of Lucy and I'm very touched that she named this resourceful character after me. I’ll bet Rob would have put those zombies in their place.

Now maybe he can help me find my luggage.