When I was a kid, if we really didn’t like something, we would say it “eats the moose.”
If we were really mad—and our parents weren’t around—we would say that the offending object, person, or condition, “sucked moose cock.”
That was a real biggie, a sign that you truly disliked whatever you were talking about. I'm not sure why the poor moose's genitalia was singled out from all of the animals in creation.
Why not the armadillo or the rhinoceros or the anteater or any number of nature's lulus? I can't say, but whatever the reason, the moose's equipment got tagged as the lowest of the low.
As I keep learning more about Sarah Palin, John “Did-I-Mention-That-I’m-A-Former-POW?” McCain, those expressions have come screaming back to my mind from across the decades.
Let me get this straight: if the Republicans get their way, this woman—an anti-abortion, Jesus freaking-Creationist cretin—is going to be a heart beat away from the White House? Is that what they're telling us?
Here’s a woman who literally eats the moose in the form of moose burgers. In light of the litany of revelations about Palin, I’m betting that some GOP leaders are employing my old childhood expression in all its ugly variations. And probably coming up with a few new ones.
Just a short time ago, all the loony little neocons were having a collective orgasm over Pistol Packin' Palin. She was a hunter and a maverick; she works next door to Russian and--check this out: she's a woman--the perfect running mate to attract all those disgruntled Hillary voters.
Sure, Palin will bring those Hillary women into the GOP tent--just as long as they all drop acid or get kicked in the head by a moose en masse, or en moose.
It turns out Pailin is a woman who says “God” more often the Pope during midnight mass, but can’t teach her daughter “family values.”
This a favorite expression amongst Republicans, by the way, who direct it at Democrats and anybody else who gets in the way, but never at that person in the mirror.
The result of Palin's parenting is that kid is knocked up at 17 and will have to get married. She's like Juno...in Juneau. Juneau what I mean? (I kill me.)
"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned," the stunned mom and pop lied, "We're proud of Bristol's decision to have her baby and even prouder to become grandparents."
Oh, I'm sure you're just tickled pink...or is that moose blood on your cheeks?
Palin is on record as saying she would not approve of abortion even if her own daughter had been impregnated by a rapist.
The age of consent is 16 in Alaska, so depending upon when her daughter got pregnant, the child may really be the victim of a rape, albeit the statutory kind.
I had the distinct displeasure of hearing part of Palin’s inaugural speech when she became governor on Saturday where she dropped God's name so many times I thought they were on the same bowling team.
But she also got in the standard Republican rhetoric about not expecting the government to do everything for you.
Really? Try telling that to Halliburton. They’re getting all kind of government handouts.
It doesn’t matter that the overcharge the government or electrocute our soldiers in poorly constructed showers—Support our troops! Support our troops!—they get still those checks from Uncle Sam as regular as you please.
There’s nothing I enjoy more than being lectured to by some right-wing “Christian” crackpot who gnaws on Bullwinkle’s entrails like it's mom's apple pie.
Hey, all you Creationists, if you want to inflict your views on public school kids, then how about we sane folks get to teach the theory of evolution at church during Sunday services?
Maybe you idiots will finally learn what Darwin really said, as opposed to the crap you all fabricate in your tiny brains.
I happen to be a Christian who believes in evolution. There is no contradiction here. My religion is a code of conduct, not a club to smack down anything that I don't like or understand.
I'm just dreaming of the day when a reporter asks a candidate about his or her religion and he or she responds with a resounding "none of your goddamn business!"
And while we're at it, what are we supposed to do with all these babies if you anti-abortionists get your way?
Republicans foam at the mouth at the very mention of social programs and screech about "welfare queens in Cadillacs," like that brain-dead idiot Ronald Reagan. So who will feed, educate, and house all these fetuses once they are born? Or did you even think that far ahead?
It seems to me that if you're all so "pro-life," you should have been out there protesting George Bush's phony war from the get-go. Only you kind of...weren't.
The latest news on Palin is that she directed fundraising for the indicted Ted Stevens’ 527, that she just hired a lawyer to handle her little “Troopergate” problem, and that she hasn't “really focused much on the war in Iraq.”
Now The Huffington Post is reporting that Palin's pastor "questioned whether people who voted for Sen. John Kerry in 2004 would be accepted to heaven" and said anyone who criticized Bush during the Katrina fiasco would be going to hell.
All aboard the Nutbag Express! Next stop, Juneau, Alaska!
Boy, John “I-Spent-Five-years-in-the-Hanoi-Hilton-But-I-Don’t-Like-To-Talk-About-It” McCain really knows how to pick 'em.
Maybe McCain should offer the VP slot to Bullwinkle. Provided Palin hasn’t wolfed the poor guy down yet.