Monday, February 13, 2006

Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

"If you have true love, take a tip from a man in misery, don't ever be lonely, poor little fool like me."

--Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose

This could be the longest day of the year--if I so decide.

Yes, it's Valentine's Day yet again and yet again I don't have a girlfriend. It's been so long since I've had a lover on this day for lovers that I would probably freak out if I did have someone.

I've gotten exactly two cards this year, one from my sister and one from my friend Stephanie. And while I appreciate their thoughtfulness more than I could ever express in words, I would like to have someone of my own.

This sucks. Of that there can be no doubt. The airwaves and newspapers are filled with Valentine's Day ads and the TV news programs are doing all these flowers-and-candy stories.

I have a chance to go out tonight to a few places, but honestly I don't think this is a good night to go looking for someone. It's sort like trying to find a New Year's Eve date on Dec. 31.

I was out on Friday with nothing to do and I saw so many happy couples out and about, I felt this hostility, thinking, oh, look at these twits, they're so happy, they're so in love, I could just puke.

In other words, I was thinking like a loser. Whatever my problems may be, I don't think being mean and miserable is the proper response. Nobody wants to date Travis Bickle.

I had one decent Valentine's Day back in the Eighties, when I was dating Louise, a woman I almost married. We exchanged gifts, went to dinner, the whole deal. It was lovely, but my problems spiraled and Louise eventually--and rightfully--moved on.

I had one of my favorite Valentine's Days with Stephanie, when she came in from Hartford and we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see an exhibit of Leonardo DaVinci's notebooks.

It was on a Friday night, I believe, neither one of us had dates, so the potential for major misery was there, but I had a blast. The exhibit was great, the museum was packed to the gills, and Stephanie was wonderful company.

I went to a nice anti-Valentine's Day party when I was living in Waterbury. A bunch of us went to a Japanese restaurant in New Haven and had a great time. The restaurant was in an old house and we were seated on the top floor.

Stupid Cupid

The staff took so long serving us that they bent over backwards and let us stay there forever. I felt like royalty.

The worst Valentine's Day I ever had? Well, I guess that would be about two years ago when I just started dating this woman named Christina. I had met her on New Year's Eve, after she posted an ad on craigslist looking for a group of people to go see "Cold Mountain."

I felt some kind of connection with Christina, so I called her up and we went out a few times. We hardly knew each other by the time Feb. 14 rolled around, so I proceeded with caution.

Christina, however, proceeded with insanity. After initially agreeing to a date, she pulled out at the last second, giving me some half-assed, grade school quality lie about having to meet a friend.

I have no idea what her problem was, but the timing was excrutiating. You pull this crap on Valentine's Day? God, even if you hate my guts, fake it for a few hours, and dump me on the 15th.

To top it off, I was leaving the office on Friday that year and I happened to bump into this young Indian woman who worked on my floor.

She was much younger than I, but she was cute with a lovely English accent,(she had never been there, but had been schooled by British teachers) and I had been thinking about asking her out.

So I get on the elevator and she comes walking out into the lobby holding a huge bouquet of roses. Between that and Christina's bonehead stunt, it was a one-two shot to the heart.

But I survived, and here I am typing this business. This is a week night, and I've got to work on my fiction. So I'll probably hit the gym and get back to the keyboard.

For you lovers out there, God bless you. Enjoy this day and every day and I'll see you out there as soon as I can.


Kebab said...

"For everyone, there is another" a quote I read somewhere. Even though I have a SO (significant other) he is far far away and today I am depressed and really pissy. I'm so annoyed at the girls I work with getting roses and cards. *sigh* I know...truly I am lucky to have someone at all. Its just that sometimes it feels like I can see my future yet everytime I get close to it, its that much further away. Perhaps I'm just feeling sorry for myself and I should not be dumping all over your blog but, the initial point was to tell you that I completly get what you're going through. Before I found my sweetheart, it was some very long years of longing and lonliness. She's out there Rob...waiting. Hang on.

Rob K said...

Oh, Donna, thank God I "met" you.

You're not dumping all over my blog, you're expressing you true feelings and that's what the blog and the comment section are all about.

It must to have someone and not have him all at the same time. I hope you guys are together again very soon.

And thanks so much for your words of hope. Happy Valentine's Day!


Kebab said...

You're a sweetie...thank :)

Marsha said...

I was the same as Donna today, a bit pissy that the girls were getting flowers and not me. I got my roses once I got home, but after the day I had, (see my blog post if interested) it didn't seem as important to me this year.

However, I have been in your shoes for many years and Donna is right, there's someone for everyone. She is out there, and one day, when you least expect it, you'll meet her! I met mine at the 7-11 over a hotdog stand. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!


Rob K said...

Thanks for sharing, Marsha, and thanks for the great meet-up story.

We gotta get more 7-11's in Brooklyn, damn it!!

I dread the idea of eating a hot dog from one of those stands in New York, but I'll do anything for love.

Take care and happy V-Day

DesertPeace said...

It's gonna happen Rob... I just know it... You are a very special, caring peron... someone just as special is out there for you... don't ever give up!

Rob K said...

Thanks, Peace. I knew I could count on you for a kind word. Take care, buddy.


Babsbitchin said...

I feel your pain buddy. Now, that I think about it, if I see that Stupid Cupid, I'll bitch slap 'em!
Maybe next year!

Rob K said...

Nah, we'll just clip the little bastard's wings!

Anonymous said...

Hey Rob,

Jennifer G. here. I can't figure out how to email you through this thing! Great blog. Been reading off and on for a while. Was I with you for this: " went to a nice anti-Valentine's Day party when I was living in Waterbury. A bunch of us went to a Japanese restaurant in New Haven and had a great time. The restaurant was in an old house and we were seated on the top floor."

I think I was. Wasn't I? Was I??

Is this thing working?!

Rob K said...

Yes, Jen, it is working! And it's taken me more than a month to spot your comment and respond. That was a fun night in New Haven and it beat the hell of being alone on V-day.

Take care and thanks for commenting.