The Luna Park Gazette

In 1979, I flew out to San Francisco to stay with my oldest brother who was living in Berkeley at the time. One of our father’s brothers, Bob, lived nearby and we visited him a few times during my stay in California. On the night before I was scheduled to fly back to New York, we stopped by Bob’s apartment so I could I say goodbye. “Boy,” he said as we sat down in his living room, “I didn’t do fuck-all today.” I don’t think I’d ever heard that expression before—hey, I was young—but I knew what my uncle was talking about. After Saturday, however, I now have a much deeper appreciation of those words. Saturday was a bit of a dud, to put it mildly. It wasn’t so much a bad day; it was a completely pointless one. My sister and I had made tentative plans to do something, but she was tired (as was I) and the weather looked crappy, so we agreed to just stay in our respective homes and chill. I have a to-do list the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica, and since initial ...

My sister and I were rumbling our way out to Coney Island on the N train Friday night when this shocked look came over her face. “You’re not wearing the shirt,” she said. I was confused for a few seconds, but then I realized what she was talking about. And that I had seriously messed up. I had forgotten to wear the striped green shirt that I had worn for five pre-COVID years in a row, when we took our annual spin on the Spook-a-Rama, a classic funhouse ride that opened in 1955 during the Eisenhower Administration. I was crushed. I couldn’t believe I had made such a thoughtless blunder. I looked down at the black t-shirt I had gotten years ago while volunteering for a film festival at the Brooklyn Museum. It’s a nice shirt, but it's the shirt. For those of you in the dark about this, well, that’s a large part of Spook-a-Rama. Riders (victims?) are roughly pulled around a dark room in a small car while a variety of ghouls and monsters leap at them and vile screams...

I’m never going to hear Jen’s voice again. I’m never going to see her smile, hear her laugh, and I’m never going to read one of her Facebook comments that always, always , ended with the words “I love you.” Jen Lifland was a friend of mine, a beautiful, lovely soul, who left this world today. I first met Jen and her partner, later wife, Heather, years ago when I did a solo performance at an incredibly small theater on the West Side of Manhattan. It’s the kind of event that normally only your closest friends and dearest family members attend—if you’re lucky. But Jen and Heather had seen it listed on some website and they approached me after the show. They were so kind, loving and friendly and they invited me to go out drinking with them, which I readily did. We ended up at a bar near Madison Square Garden with Jen stroking my cheek and saying “he’s so cute!” "Can I be your lesbian friend?” she asked. “Well,” I said, “every man should have at least one....

“This is a day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalm 118:24 I stopped by my local thrift store this morning and got some great advice without paying a dime. Most Sunday mornings I hit the gym and then bounce across the street to stock up on disposable masks and a few bottles of my favorite poison, better known as diet soda. The store owner is a very friendly Middle Eastern gentleman who always makes me feel welcome. We were chatting about how relatively cool the weather had been lately and I mentioned that it was supposed to rain today. “It doesn’t matter,” he replied. “It rains, it’s sunny, whatever it is, you should thank God for the day.” I paused for a moment. Yes, that’s exactly what you do. Instead of complaining or being miserable, you give thanks for being here to see the day. His timing was particularly important because I was still smarting from some rather unhealthy behavior. I had gone to Rockaway Beach on Saturday with one of ...

I was preparing to leave my gym Friday morning when this middle-aged gentleman walked into the locker room. “Good morning, sir,” he said with refreshing sincerity. “Good morning,” I responded. I got a good vibe coming from this man so I decided to keep the conversation going. "Are you all done?” I asked. “Oh, no,” he said. “I just got here.” “I just finished.” “C’mon,” he said, “that’s not fair!” I laughed and wished him a good workout. “Have a beautiful day,” he said. That was it. The entire encounter lasted less than a minute, yet I got such a boost out of talking with this man that I briefly forgot how tired I was. It’s amazing how one good person can undo the damage of a dozen nitwits. I decided that would indeed have a beautiful day and I promised myself that I would pass this gentleman’s kindness on to other people. And then I went home and switched on the computer. I had forgotten that the night before I had downloaded one of Apple’s seemin...

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ― Lucille Ball. There was a time back in the Eighties when WPIX, a New York radio station, played nothing but love songs. I'm not sure if there are any other types of popular songs, as love in one form or another seems to be theme in nearly every song I've ever hear. Nevertheless, that was their schtick and the station went so far as to run a series of TV commercials featuring clay animation cherubs to reel in new listeners. I didn’t much care for the format and those clay angels creeped me out, but the concept is coming back to me now as I look to get my mind in some kind of healthy condition. I’ve heard for decades about the importance loving yourself and how you can never really be happy until you do. It sounded great, but I could never could my head around it. Loving your family, your significant other, your dog—that all makes se...

I can’t believe I didn’t know this. Last week, the filmmaker Richard Donner, director of such big budget spectacles as The Omen, Superman and Lethal Weapon , died at 91 years old. I have to confess that I am not a particularly big fan of Donner’s movie work. While there is no denying that his films were incredibly popular, I found several them to be rather noisy and uninteresting. Like many of the older filmmakers, Donner got his start in television, directing episodes of such classics as Wanted: Dead or Alive, Have Gun Will Travel and Perry Mason . I’ve been watching several of these shows lately on the MeTV channel and I’ve seen Donner’s name a few times, but I had no idea until I read his obituary that he directed what is arguably the most famous episode of The Twilight Zone , “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.” C’mon, don’t sit there and tell me you don’t know what episode I’m talking about. That’s the one from 1963 with a pre-Kirk William Shatner portraying a man recover...