The Luna Park Gazette

I may not want to be king of Scotland, but Macbeth and I have at least one thing in common. We’ve both been tortured by ghosts. Shakespeare’s blood-stained nobleman was haunted by the spirit of Banquo, a general he had ordered killed to make sure the guy’s descendants don’t inherit the crown. Macbeth thinks all is well until Banquo’s ghost makes an unscheduled and quiet unwelcome appearance at a state dinner that the murderous monarch is hosting. Macbeth, the only who can see the spirit, promptly freaks the hell out, and begs the apparition to take any other form than that of his slain friend. “ Approach like the rugged Russian bear, ” he says, “ the armed rhinoceros, or the'Hyrcan Tiger. Take any shape but that, and my firm nerves shall never tremble... ” Buddy, I know where you’re coming from. Last week I had a nightmare that rolled over my psyche like a runaway locomotive on rocket fuel. I’ve had many late-night whoppers in the past that have shaken me up something ...

Not all clutter is created equal. Every single year I promise myself that I’m going to clean up my apartment: toss out the mounds of paper, give away the old clothes and books, and finally— finally --bring some order out of the chaos. And every single year, about the only that gets thrown out is that vow to throw stuff out. Now, just to be clear, I’m not about to become the third Collyer Brother and I don’t think my home will be featured on a cable reality show. Still, this place is messier than I’d like it to be, which can be quite depressing, especially now that we’re all trapped in our homes under Covid-19 lockdown. I have some vacation time coming up and since travel is probably not a good idea, I’m going to work on getting rid of the damn papers. But whatever goes out, I fully intend to keep my greeting cards. God knows, I’ve tempted to ditch some of them, just to make a little room in my files. Nothing personal, of course, I just to want to tidy up a little bit. B...

“Obeying the ego leads to bondage; obeying the soul brings liberation.” --Paramahanasa Yoganada When I was a child, my father liked to sing an old music hall number called “ Abdul Abulbul Amir. ” Written in 1877 by the Irish songwriter Percy French, the song tells the story of the eponymous Amir—“bravest by far in the ranks of the Shah”--and a Russian soldier named Ivan Skavinsky Skavar, bravest of the troops led by the Tsar—who fight to their mutual deaths in a duel that beings when one guy steps on the other guy’s foot. It seems that Ivan, who had donned his most truculent sneer, started things off, whereupon Abdul informs him that “vile, infidel, know, you have trod on the toe Of Abdulla Bulbul Amir." They both reach for their swords and they both end up dead, which I guess is supposed to be tragic, though, honestly, I'm not feeling it. If only they had Prozac back then... I hadn’t thought of this song for decades until a recent incident at a local fruit and vegeta...

In the various versions of Invasion of the Body Snatchers , bad things always happen when you go to sleep. The story of soul-stealing aliens taking over humans by creating replacements in giant pods has been made at least five times since Jack Finney published his 1955 novel--with yet another one reportedly in development. I’ll always prefer the 1956 original with Kevin McCarthy, but it’s a testament to the story’s enduring creepiness that filmmakers keep coming back to the concept to give it another try. Think about it: you get up one morning and find your friends and family all look and sound the same, but you know it’s not really them. And if you nod off, as Kevin McCarthy warns us, “you’re next!” Sleep can be my weakness, too, and I got a firm reminder on that fact on Saturday—Independence Day, ironically enough--when I zonked in front of the TV. I had spent a wonderful day with my sister, our first day out together since Covid-19 muscled into our lives in March and turn...

In 1958, Edward Albee wrote a one-act play called “The Zoo Story” about two strangers whose meeting in Central Park ends in tragedy. I first came across the play some 20 years after its debut when I had to read it for one of my English classes at Hunter College. I’ve never seen a performance of the play, but last week I came close to living my own version of it. Ever since the coronavirus outbreak shut down all the health clubs, I’ve been doing YouTube workouts at home. They’re nowhere near as satisfying as my boxing and cycling classes, of course, but my choices are severely limited. Working out in my apartment can be challenging since space is limited and I don’t want to make noise. I live five minutes away from Shore Road Park, yet I had been resistant to changing locales even though the weather is warm now and I have more freedom of movement. I have this tendency to latch on to a routine and steadfastly refuse to change it and, to be brutally honest, this habit of ceme...

The voices from World War II are still speaking to us, but you have to listen very carefully. I’m writing a novel that includes scenes from World War II and I’ve been doing research to make those sections as realistic as possible. Books and articles are helpful, of course, but I’m always looking to speak with veterans if at all possible so I can have those vital eyewitness accounts. Sadly, this is is becoming more and more difficult as the old soldiers from the Greatest Generation continue to fade away. My dad was a veteran and he told me dozens of stories when I was growing up. I’m using some of his recollections as raw material for the book, but I also want to include the kind of gritty details that I didn’t ask my father about when I was kid. Well, I finally got my chance. I belong to a Facebook group of family members of veterans from my father’s division, The Timberwolves. One of the group’s members very kindly put me in touch with Richard, a 95-year-old veteran, wh...

"The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind." – William Blake Maybe I should burn some more sage. On the morning of January 1, I burned sage to purify my home and drive away negative energy in a healing practice known as smudging. I thought it was a good way to start a new year. I wanted to clear out the old, stale forces in my life, and let the sun shine in. “ I’ve got a long list of things that I want to do this year and I believe I started my journey off on the right foot ,” I wrote that day. “ And now the work begins… ” The year is now half-over and we are in the midst of the worst pandemic in 100 years. Stores are closed, millions of people are out of work, racial strife is sweeping across the country and the lunatic in the White House wants to treat the U.S. military like his own personal security force. I’m worried about my job—while thanking God I still have one—and, on top of everything else, my vacuum cl...