The Luna Park Gazette

I've been wearing suits a lot more often now that I'm back on the job interview circuit. I don’t have that many actually, but I use them in rotation and I haven’t worn suits with such regularity since my father died last year. The other day I dug out my old navy blue Brooks Brothers and prepared to do two, yes, two, job interviews in one day. I’m such a tramp. I don’t want to think about how old this suit is. I got it years ago, I mean years ago, with my father. His tastes were on the conservative side, but I trusted his judgment and he always seemed to know which tie went best with what shirt, something that still pretty much eludes me to this day. Every time I had a job interview he’d look up and say, “are you going to wear your Brooks?” I think about my father a lot when I get ready for job interviews. No matter how old I was, how mature I believed myself to be, I’d always go to him and ask “how do I look?” He’d critique my appearance, checked to see that the collar was dow...

From the Associated Press: BAGHDAD - A roadside bomb killed four U.S. soldiers in Baghdad on Sunday, the military said, pushing the overall American death toll in the five-year war to at least 4,000... Happy Easter, President Bush. And now we march on toward 5,000... Generals gathered in their masses Just like witches at black masses Evil minds that plot destruction Sorcerers of deaths construction In the fields the bodies burning As the war machine keeps turning Death and hatred to mankind Poisoning their brainwashed minds, oh lord yeah! Politicians hide themselves away They only started the war Why should they go out to fight? They leave that role to the poor --"War Pigs" by Black Sabbath

This is Easter Sunday, the day Christians all over the world celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus. I just got home from dinner with my family at a local restaurant and I'm looking at the big story in today's Daily News. Is it something related to the war, the economy, or the upcoming presidential election? Perhaps a story about this most sacred holiday for so many millions of people? No, this is much more important to the lives of millions of New Yorkers. The big story today is that former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer, who was forced to resigned after being caught using the services of an expensive call girl ring, kept his socks on while doing the hokey-pokey with the hotsy totsy. Yep, Spitzy was a sock boy who wore his hose when he was with the hos. And not only did the News tell us this riveting story, they also posted an online poll asking readers if they thought it was okay to leave their socks on during the horizontal tango or not. I feel very strongly about this issue ...

Somewhere in Iraq, there is a U.S. soldier who will shortly become No. 4,000. Today marks the fifth anniversary of the disaster in Iraq, and, tragically, this milestone will soon be followed by another dreadful event: the death of the 4,000th American soldier. While so many people obsess about Client Nine, Elliot Spitzer’s secret sexual identity, I wonder about G.I. 4000. What is he or she like—bookish or a rabid sports fan? Shy and quiet or outgoing and boisterous? Does he or she have pets—dogs, cats, or fish? Where is this person from—small town or big city? And did this man or woman come from a big family or was he or she an only child? Was this soldier a high school hero or one of the geeks who sat in the back row and prayed not to to be seen? Is this individual a parent whose children who will never see their mother or father again? Did he or she believe in “the mission,” as war supporters call this fiasco, or did this soldier get pulled into this quagmire due to a National Guard ...

Today is St. Patrick's Day, but I'm not feeling the green in my blood. It's cold, it's Monday, I'm out of work and I have to do my taxes. I was out late Friday and I don't have much of a desire to visit any saloons. So I'll probably keep a low profile today. While I should probably listen to Irish music, like the Chieftains and the Clancy Brothers, and watch The Quiet Man , I don't have that festive feeling. Bear Stearns just bit the dust and its shares were sold off at fire sale prices. And world markets are reacting accordingly as they tumble into oblivion. It's like a high stakes version of the old Crazy Eddie commercial. Crazy Bernanke, his prices are insannnnnnne!!! Hey, what a great time to give a tax cut to the rich. We're getting a new governor in New York today, as Elliot Spurtzer--oops--Spitzer--steps down following word that he was involved in a prostitution ring. Too bad Spitzer hadn't remained attorney general. He put those thie...

I went for a swim tonight--seriously. It was only for a few feet, I expended more energy than the hydroelectric plant at the Grand Coulee Dam, and I moved with all the grace of an arthritic elephant, but, yes, damn it, I was swimming . I am in the third week of an eight-week adult swimming course at the YMCA in Park Slope and I'm loving it. This came about after my family trip to Hawaii during Christmas, when I vowed I would finally learn how to swim. Bear in mind that learning how to swim has been one of my top five new year's resolutions since Mario Procaccino ran for mayor of New York. But there was something about the Hawaii trip, seeing people in the hotel pool having a great time, while I splashed around in the kid's section, well, it just got to me. It bothered me that, although I like to be physically active, I couldn't participate in this fabulous form of exercise. There's also the safety factor, should I ever find myself in a sinking canoe, but beyond that...

There's a classic Looney Tunes cartoon called an "Itch in Time" where Elmer Fudd's dog falls victim to a hungry flea. Dying to scratch, but terrified of being given a bath, the poor mutt sweats and trembles until he finally explodes and runs around the room howling like a loon and dragging his aching butt across the floor. In the middle of this breakdown, the dog stops dead in his tracks, looks to the camera and says "I gotta cut this out--I could get to like it." And then resumes his conniption. I thought of that cartoon after attending the Brooklyn Blogade yesterday in Kensington. This was a fabulous event, hosted by Joyce of Bad Girl Blog , and held at the Old Brick Cafe Lounge on Church Avenue. Joyce came up with the brilliant idea of asking participants to read or show material from their blogs. I was really impressed with the talent of the people in the group. There were excellent observations and descriptions, along with some fine short films and anim...

There I was, paddling down the Zambezi hell bent for leather, with 100 ferocious pygmy warriors in hot pursuit. Up ahead, a raging hippo squatted in the water with his mouth wide open waiting to devour me. I was about to dive overboard and swim for shore, but I saw the Loch Ness Monster doing the butterfly crawl just below my canoe. Then Big Foot started throwing boulders at me from a nearby sandbar. Who invited him? It was looking pretty serious when suddenly a zeppelin being piloted by Charo and Margaret Thatcher came sailing over the horizon. I somersaulted out of the canoe and onto a dangling road ladder, climbed up to the gondola and hopped straight into a hot tube, where Angelina Jolie declared her undying love me while text-messaging Brad Pitt that it was all over. Now that was one hell of a weekend. All right, so, maybe I'm exaggerating some of the stuff in that story. As a matter of fact, there are no facts in that story; I fabricated the whole thing and tried to pass it o...

Calling all Brooklyn bloggers! This Sunday, March 9, Bad Girl Blog will be hosting the monthly blogade at the Old Brick Cafe on Church Avenue in Kensington. The theme of this event will be "Show and Tell" and she describes it on her blog as follows: Bloggers are encouraged to be brave and give a reading from one of their best blog posts. Or bring along your laptop and a screen and show us your best pics. Or just tell us about your best post. Please plan to limit your presentation to about five minutes so everybody can have a turn. The event kicks off at 12 p.m. For $15 per person (tip at our discretion), the menu includes: --salad --an appetizer pastry called burek --a main course of cevapi (shish kebab), chicken cutlet or vegetarian lasagna --dessert and coffee The Old Brick Cafe is located at 507 Church Ave. between Ocean Parkway and E. 5th Street (very close to the Church Avenue stop on the F train, and not far from the Q stop on Church Avenue) So come on down, bloggers, ...