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The Torment Room

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There I was, sitting in the dentist’s chair, waiting for the show to start. I was getting for a temporary crown on my tooth and I was looking around when a sign on the wall caught my eye. “Please do not use cellphones in the torment room,” I read. Wait, what? The torment room? I was here to get a crown, not reenact the horror scene from Marathon Man . But then I looked harder and realized the word was “treatment”, not “torment” and realized that my overeager eyeballs had gone negative once again . I can’t say I’ve ever looked forward to visiting the dentist—and I really dread when the bills come due—but my doctor and his assistant are great people, and I wound up doing a fair bit of socializing amid the drilling and spitting. In addition to the good company, my dentist—it’s a father and son team—has a good office sound system and I often hear some nice old tunes over the racket. One song--“ Couldn't Get It Right ” by the Climax Blues Band—had been on my mind just a da...

Land Without Shadows

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“The only thing about America that interests me is Coney Island.” – Sigmund Freud Even the Native Americans thought the place was special. Back in the 1980s, I took a walking toward of Coney Island, the unique amusement area and neighborhood in the southwestern section of Brooklyn. Our guide told us that the place has always had its own kind of magic, long before the Cyclone, and the boardwalk, and Nathan’s July 4 annual hotdog eating contest. The Lenape, the original inhabitants, dubbed the place “Land Without Shadows,” which made an impression on me when I first heard it. The name had this eerie, otherworldly sound to it that conjured up images of spirits and sorcery. I thought it was pretty funky, but upon reflection, I realized that it is the beach, after all, and maybe the Lenape just meant that shade was hard to come by. But I still like it. Dutch settlers arriving in the 17th Century called the place “Rabbit Island”, although that’s about the only creature I ...

Harry Was Here

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And now a word about Dr. Vanderspeigle... I just finished watching the final episode of Resident Alien , and it feels like I’m losing a dear friend. There I was, all set to write about a completely different topic, when I learned that one of my favorite TV shows was coming to an end. I should mention that this post may contain spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the series finale yet, you may want to stop right here. About a month ago I wrote that an episode of this sci-fi dramedy had brought me to tears. Little did I know what was in store for me this week. I’ve been a fan since Resident Alien’s debut in 2021 and looking back, I can’t believe how I hemmed and hawed about whether I should record it or not. Frankly, it didn’t look particularly good in the commercials, and I didn’t want to get hooked on yet another TV show. And then I watched the first episode and I was hooked. I still laugh at the scene where Harry, drunk after his first experience with alcohol, dances arou...

Wake Me, Shake Me

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There was whole lotta shakin’ going on in Brooklyn on Saturday night and it had nothing to do with Jerry Lee Lewis. Officially the Magnitude 3 earthquake happened at 10:18 PM in Hasbrouck Heights, NJ. It is being described as a “small earthquake” though my feeling is that only small earthquake are the kind that happen somewhere else. All I know that I was minding my own business when my living room started vibrating. I was tired, having seen the Irish Repertory Theatre’s fabulous production of Conor McPherson’s The Weir , with my sister and auntie, which we followed up with a massive Chinese dinner. So, I wasn’t in the mood for any more drama, especially the kind that rocks my house. I kept telling myself that it was a low-flying jet rattling my windows, but it seemed like it was going to plow into my kitchen. Finally, the house stopped moving. I forgot all about it until Sunday morning when I was on the Stairmaster at my gym and saw the news on TV. My landlady, by th...

The Wink of Young Girl’s Eye

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“Hold on a minute,” the voice on the other end of the line said, “I’ll put her on.” “Okay…” The “her” was in question was a former co-worker of mine whom I had not spoken with—nor even thought about, really—in quite a while. Yet, there she was on the other end of the line telling me that she had just delivered a baby—which I could hear crying in the background. This was intriguing, especially since we had worked together at a newspaper and midwifery hadn’t been on her resume. Of course, she wasn’t a midwife, she hadn’t delivered a baby, and she wasn’t on the phone. And there wasn’t even a phone. No, the whole scenario was streaming out of my subconscious to create yet another one of my oddball dreams. This one occurred late last week and while normally I can do a decent job of deconstructing my dreams, this one has me a bit stumped. I’ve been trying to identify the person who told me to hold on. I knew who the person was during the dream, and I suspect that she was ...

Rotten Stories

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One of earliest blog posts I ever wrote was a little item entitled “Violent Swiss Almond.” At the time, I had noticed this habit I have where I would read a word or phrase, and my mind would take the first few letters and rush to a bizarre and completely incorrect solution. The title refers to my misreading of an ice cream flavor called Vanilla Swiss Almond. There have been countless other such screwups over the years. Once, while walking through my local supermarket, I noticed a food spread in the refrigerated section called “Don’t Eat.” Don’t Eat? What a strange name for a product, I thought. Why would I buy something with a name like that? But I looked again and saw that it was actually called Down East, which seem a little more sensible. (I later joked that they were going to call the stuff Tastes Like Shit, but it didn’t test well. Rimshot! ) It has finally dawned on me that nearly of my misreads are negative. I don’t think I ever came up with an encouraging screw-...

Sob Story

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I reached for my notebook the moment the tears started to flow. “You’re crying over Resident Alien ?” I scribbled in my journal. I have made no secret of being a shameless weeper. I cry over anything, old movies, new movies, TV shows, songs and don’t even get me started on that Kohl’s Christmas commercial from a few years ago. Seriously, don't get me started or I'll fall apart all over again. You know things are bad when the women in my family—my sister and auntie—are fed up with all my waterworks. “Don’t start bawling!” is one my sister’s common commands. On Saturday morning, I was watching the latest episode of Resident Alien the Syfy channel’s comedy series based on a comic book that I’ve never read. The show debuted on January 27, 2021, and I was hooked immediately. Alan Tudyk plays the titular hero who is known on this planet as Harry Vanderspeigle, the town doctor in Patience, Colorado. The program is in its fourth season now and while it may have...