tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post7750418020741921348..comments2024-03-27T13:10:17.362-07:00Comments on The Luna Park Gazette: Please Be SeatedRob Khttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-54160135188660922782018-05-28T06:32:56.777-07:002018-05-28T06:32:56.777-07:00:):)Rob Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-82467309227762860352018-05-28T00:29:55.174-07:002018-05-28T00:29:55.174-07:00Now it's me that needs the Kleenex!Now it's me that needs the Kleenex!Jayhttp://www.sparkingsynapse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-26617590390591911092018-05-27T17:48:28.660-07:002018-05-27T17:48:28.660-07:00Jay, you explained it beautifully. I needed to hea...<br />Jay, you explained it beautifully. I needed to hear a mother's side of this story and the fact that you don't want your children suffering over some pointless guilt after you're gone means the world to me.<br /><br />You've helped pull me out this downward spiral I inflict upon myself when I think of my mother. Blessings upon you and all you love! :)Rob Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-82034794940336205112018-05-27T14:38:17.120-07:002018-05-27T14:38:17.120-07:00Rob, my dear, consider this: as a mother, I've...Rob, my dear, consider this: as a mother, I've often tormented myself with wondering how much I am to blame for the shortcomings and faults and pain of my children. It's not a one-way relationship. I can't control how the world treats them, but I feel responsible for their happiness, and there is no way on earth that I would want them to suffer that same torment after I'm gone, wondering if they treated me well or not. I don't know if I'm explaining this very well, so I hope you understand what I mean (it's very late and I'm beyond tired).<br /><br />Anyway. Thank you for your kind words. My neighbour says she is lucky to have me, but I feel lucky to have her, too, because she is a kind of substitute mother figure to me. It's all good. :)Jayhttp://www.sparkingsynapse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-71667889411017129602018-05-16T08:43:02.817-07:002018-05-16T08:43:02.817-07:00Oh, Jay, what a lovely comment! I swear I'm go...Oh, Jay, what a lovely comment! I swear I'm going to send you a bill for all the tissues I'm using right now.<br /><br />I deeply appreciate your perspective as a mother--it's very important to me to get the parent's side of this. I know my mother has forgiven all my transgressions, but I do have this dark need to hurt myself. It's something I'm working to exorcise from my psyche.<br /><br />I absolutely love how you used the experience with your mother to reach out to your elderly neighbor. She's very lucky indeed to have a friend like you--and so am I!<br /><br />Thanks so much and do take care.Rob Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-52575334182008969932018-05-15T10:53:43.910-07:002018-05-15T10:53:43.910-07:00Well done, Rob. We simply cannot continue to beat...Well done, Rob. We simply cannot continue to beat ourselves up about how we treated our parents. As a parent, I can tell you that I love my boys unconditionally. Yes, they've occasionally been angry, neglectful, unjust, quarrelsome, and all the rest of the usual negative human emotions. So have we all! I don't like it when people presume to speak for the dead, either, but I do know that if I'd been able to go to her and unburden myself of my guilt and self-flagellation after she died, my mother would have said 'Oh, don't be so silly! You're my daughter, I know you love me, no matter how you behave sometimes. Of course I forgive you!'. And that's the truth of it: no matter how my sons have behave (and still sometimes behave) I love them, and I know that there is an unbreakable bond between us, and I forgive them anything and everything. <br /><br />I'm betting that your Mom was the same, but even if she were not, the past is immutable. What's done is done, and the important thing is that we learn lessons from it. What have I learned? Well, I still feel that I didn't see enough of my Mum during her last years and didn't understand her difficulties and needs as well as I might have done. I thought long and hard about this after she died, and eventually, I have been able to use this experience to become closer to my elderly neighbour who is in need of a friend right now. I suppose you could say that I'm paying it forward. It's all we can do. Jayhttp://www.sparkingsynapse.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-27740040860355737762018-05-14T17:56:25.078-07:002018-05-14T17:56:25.078-07:00Hey, Ron, what's up?
Oh, boy, you nailed it--...Hey, Ron, what's up?<br /><br />Oh, boy, you nailed it--those terrible thoughts are so addictive and before you know it, they become part of you. There's a saying that goes "the price of freedom is eternal vigilance." That's true of both a nation and a person. You have to carefully monitor your thoughts so the toxic ones don't get it.<br /><br />I'm glad you know the chair experiment. I was starting to feel a little weird!<br /><br />Thanks so much, buddy!Rob Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-54779785712791928732018-05-14T17:01:53.340-07:002018-05-14T17:01:53.340-07:00"This time, though, I refused to accept that ..."This time, though, I refused to accept that hateful thought. It wasn’t even remotely true, and its only purpose was to pull me down even deeper. Not this time, buddy."<br /><br />BRAVO...good for you, Rob! Whenever we have thoughts like that (and we ALL at one time or another have them) it's important to catch ourselves and retrain our thoughts by replacing them with something positive so that we move through them. Otherwise those thoughts become like an addictive drug; keeping us down because pain is an addiction.<br /><br />I've done the "chair experiment" before and I found it very healing, as long as I concluded it by reminding myself of something positive so that the inner voices in my head change. <br /><br />LOVE the photograph of you and your Mom. Priceless!<br /><br />Have a fabulous week, buddy!Ronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17332843200079013172noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-73206994398958370202018-05-14T04:49:08.545-07:002018-05-14T04:49:08.545-07:00Bijoux, we certainly do hold to the toxic memories...Bijoux, we certainly do hold to the toxic memories. Talking was good for me, but I can see the benefits of writing a letter as well. The important thing is that we find peace. Take care!Rob Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04741955202727936194noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10214458.post-43931178559444543332018-05-14T03:53:56.521-07:002018-05-14T03:53:56.521-07:00It's amazing the memories that stick in our mi...It's amazing the memories that stick in our minds. Sadly, they are usually the ones that caused us anguish, like your apple tree picture. Interesting that the therapist suggests talking instead of writing a letter. I'm glad that in the end, you felt some peace,Bijouxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05788630004051883635noreply@blogger.com